beauties

[cacian]

amongst the serengeties of the hearts
deluges of sounds
pour out in hush,
ruby and emerald blushed and crushed,
they slide in streams of river pulsed
and torrents surged from the deep,
calmer, lighter, ecstatic free
it's beauty,
to breath and be.

amongst billions of single beats
radiant clusters swing battle fields,
they lance each other into blitz
and melt into each other's fizz,
it is a symphony of keyboards bliss
faster, rythmic, pixy glitz
synchrony has,
music hitched.

a promise made in crystal clear
upholds the nearest close and dear,
to keep a word against a next
is to walk fast, pass all regrets,
just like a single shooting star
that travels in and out of skies
and then returns to surf the nights
in twitlight galaxic silent fars.

[Delta40]

Well I like the free flowing nature of this one much better Cacian, although I think the last line in S1 & S3 are rather awkward. A use of punctuation in your poetry would probably help. For example:

Amongst billions of single beats,
radiant clust(er)s swing battle fields.
They lance each other into blitz
and melt into each other's fizz.
It is a symphony of keyboard bliss.
Faster, rythmic, pixy glitz,
synchrony has music hitched.

Overall though I enjoyed the lovely journey this poem took me on. Well done!

[cacian]

Hey thank you Delta for reading and going over my piece.
I can see exactly what you mean.
Itis now rectified.
Thank you again!