The Tools to Hand

[Hawkman]

Don’t favour using thumbscrews
though it’s true I love the rack
but things with moving parts, I’ve found
don’t always make ‘em crack.

Hot pokers are effective,
if you want to gauge a mood,
the subjects sing out loud enough,
but what they say is rude.

Now branding makes me hungry,
for the smell of searing flesh,
makes me think of bacon frying
on the griddle’s mesh.

The brazier is useful when
you want to bake a spud,
and tongs for pulling toenails
hook ‘em out before they’re dud.

So if you want confessions
you should go and see a priest
don’t bother me at dinner time
and interrupt my feast.

[BookBeauty]

Dark, wicked humour, and witty verse. Thank you for this.

[phoenixtears]

Love it! I particularly enjoyed the last stanza.where do you get those ideas from?

[Jack of Hearts]

We may have something in common here, Hawk. This reader also tortures people via his poetry.

Entertaining, and presumably the last stanza is also about cannibalism, easily mirroring some of your harsher critiques.

Maybe you oughta go torture some poetry out of JB?







J

[Hawkman]

BB: Thanks, and you're welcome :D

phoenixtears: Glad you enjoyed it. I was going to say I was inspired by work, but Jack has rather taken the wind out of my sails for this one - lol

Jack: Once again I thank you for reading something of mine. Although I had no intention of self referential literary comment with this piece, I can reveal that although I may and sometimes do bite, even chew a bit, I never swallow. Therefore I refute your allegation of canibalism. :devil:

As for getting poetry out of JB - well, You should never force a poem. Given his personality, it is entirely possible that we won't have too long to wait before he needs to vent again - LOL. I do wonder how big (and how full) his garden is though. (Just kidding JB :D)

Live long and prosper - H

[aliengirl]

Only Hawk can turn torture into poetry! Dark and witty, it was an enjoyable read. :D

[Delta40]

lol. very witty Hawk

[AuntShecky]

I meant to mention this yesterday, but I forgot.
The subject matter is not my cup of --well, arsenic, but nonetheless I appreciate the wit.

Also-- to those who are quick to dismiss using the poetic tool of rhyme, here's a prime example of how rhyme can be highly effective. As a matter of fact, almost all humorous verses have some kind of end rhyme.

[ShadowsCool]

Nothing wrong with rhyme, unless it's forced. Rhyme that seems to come natural is a delight to the mind. Personally I prefer internal rhyme or near rhyme. It comes across as bells in your head, whistling by like a buzzard

[Hawkman]

Ripley, thanks for reading and enjoying. Well, I guess even torturers need a break for a snack :D

Delta: Cheers cobber ;)

Auntie: Thanks for the thumbs up, despite your obvious aversion to the subject matter - lol

Shadows: Many thanks for dropping by. Glad some people can still appreciate a nice rhyme in a comic verse. ;)

Live and be well - H

[Haunted]

My favorite lines are:

tongs for pulling toenails
hook ‘em out before they’re dud

Still I think you might need to add a stanza...what's a poem about tools without a chainsaw?

[Hawkman]

Hi haunt. chainsaws lack subtlety in the rarified world of torturing. I mean, above the howl of the tool itself and the brief screams of the victim, how are you supposed to hear what they have to say. Anyway, you can't cook anything with a chainsaw. - lol

Be good, and if you can't be good, be careful - H

[Buh4Bee]

Hawk- This was was weird for me, but I can appreciate the witty humor. It seems like a very strange idea. I think you can write about anything. Amusing none-the-less!

[PrinceMyshkin]

I understood this to be drollery from the start and on the grounds of "Many a truth... I expected to see the curtain drawn back to reveal something of the literal truth that provoked this savage fantasy.

[Hawkman]

B4B: Hi thanks for reading. :) Not so weird that you couldn't enjoy it... I'm glad about that - lol. Sadly I can't actually write about anything, when asked to come up with a mental mythology for Donald Trump, I drew a complete blank. I Don't know anything about him except that he's periodically richer than Croesus.

Prince: The curtain only dims the image of the savage truth behind it, for it is a very thin veil...

Live and be well - H