Thought You...

[Little Gal]

At the small end of this deep voice
and some hard spoken words that go right into you as you stand there
trying, to put its shadow away
there is a building dream of the eyes that go making rhymes
of yellow grass of sad sleeping loss
were you there?
I thought I heard you standing
I thought, you tried to hold your breath
I thought,
I thought you went one step into the melting night
while my harp played
thinking you were listening.

[cacian]

Little Gal this is great read.
It made me think of a poem I wrote called: I thought of you.
Ilike these lines

I thought you went one step into the melting night
while my harp played
thinking you were listening

Again it is so similar to mine this is just a line to show you what I mean

I thought of you
it seemed all real
as you stood
there
your shadow bare
stringing a
word, playing
the flute,
you thought
you could fly out
to moon and back
again.

there is some similarities.
Ilike your poems.:smile5:

[Little Gal]

:) thank you for the appreciation...
I like ur lines too... :)

[ShadowsCool]

I can relate. Nice job

[Little Gal]

Thanks... :)

[BookBeauty]

I meant to comment on this piece quite awhile ago! Not sure what happened.

It looks like a lot of work went into this poem, because of the halting way it's presented, almost as if the narrator is hesitant to reveal this. There's insecurity, fear, a sense of longing, and loss. The last line is almost bitter, but hopeful. Like an unrequited love. At least that's what I get from this.

''there is a building dream of the eyes that go making rhymes
of yellow grass of sad sleeping loss''

I love this line, though I can't quite figure it out. :)

[Little Gal]

I meant to comment on this piece quite awhile ago! Not sure what happened.

It looks like a lot of work went into this poem, because of the halting way it's presented, almost as if the narrator is hesitant to reveal this. There's insecurity, fear, a sense of longing, and loss. The last line is almost bitter, but hopeful. Like an unrequited love. At least that's what I get from this.

''there is a building dream of the eyes that go making rhymes
of yellow grass of sad sleeping loss''

I love this line, though I can't quite figure it out. :)

whatever you get from it is beautiful and close to much of what I feel about this one... :)
figuring it out is not as important as loving ...
Thanks a lot .. :)

[Devilio]

At the small end of this deep voice
and some hard spoken words that go right into you as you stand there
trying, to put its shadow away
there is a building dream of the eyes that go making rhymes
of yellow grass of sad sleeping loss
were you there?
I thought I heard you standing
I thought, you tried to hold your breath
I thought,
I thought you went one step into the melting night
while my harp played
thinking you were listening.

This poem's voice is surely profound :) Well written.

[Little Gal]

This poem's voice is surely profound :) Well written.

I love the way you appreciate my work...
It is very, very encouraging... :D