Love Poem 54

[ShadowsCool]

She sleeps gently on a soft flowered pillow
Of purple and light blue
And this I saw:
I in her dream with she running with me
In some vacant garden
With just her and me
Filling the miles with our presence
Both breathing the fated breath
Believing each the other was love.

[Catamite]

This was nice and simple: a pleasant read. But 'this I saw I/I in her dream' doesn't make sense, an error maybe? I enjoyed the last three lines most, especially 'filling the miles with our presence'. The feeilings of this are evoked really well. So, good job!