Estrangement

[BookBeauty]

Embraces spread as whispers,

Clinging to the air

They shatter,

Drawing away, unaided.

[Charles Darnay]

You had me until the last line. I thought: what a nice meditation. But the image of time sleeping through the cracks is both overused, and not wholly relevant to your piece.

What about (and this is just a suggestion mind you) getting rid of the last line, removing the ", and" from the forth line, and ending it there?

[BookBeauty]

Charles Darnay: I kept playing, and playing with that final line. It never seemed to fit quite right, which was frustrating. It never occurred to me to remove it. And now that it's gone, I feel I have a much stronger piece. Thank you for that delightful insight. I often have difficulty knowing when to stop talking. :D