A little confused, but i "get it" I promise....

[educatedNreverS]

This is why you came here. This, possibly, is the result of sitting in the same spot trying to remember the same thoughts; the ones that slipped away. So, it’s just a matter of time now. Rather, a sordid negligence for the realization that you can’t bring time down, or take it with you to say- in the minimal sense; not in this place; not in this tense. And from that comes a certain tension, in mind or of it, that every intention paid henceforth to ascertain an attention of “mine”, but in this case, above it, and in every way the same as the subversive retention and blame, but only in passing, of an ascetic so passively ashen. Who could really feel like this? Could anyone be this pathetically passionate??

[educatedNreverS]

Opinions please

[Charles Darnay]

This reads like something you would find in a journal. Actually this reads like something I would write in a journal at three in the morning while frustrated with myself.

I'd be interested to know what it is you are trying to get across to the reader?

[educatedNreverS]

hangover material....but it is supposed to be abstract and a little confusing.. Im working on a project where i envelope three manners of perspective on a situation. I continue to do this with multiple incidents where the reader can get different angles on "what the **** is happening lol"... This is the very first part of a bar scene, Im sitting at the bar and this( what i just wrote) is the stream of conscious worried preparation i am presenting myself, set in the second person as if im talking to myself. this would then lead into a more organized account of what happens next until I become too intoxicated to continue my first person narrative.....the end of this three part piece would take place from where I left off and consist of an outside source giving his account, for matters of mere perspective and to show how different people view the way we act, of what "really goes down and how it looks".....

[Catamite]

What you're trying to do sounds really interesting, if not difficult. You should post all three perspectives at once so that readers can see the contrasts and appreciate in full. It is really cool idea though, it's like a triptych in painting.

[LunarPlexus]

I love this disjointed kind of thing, it's like a tasty snack!

[educatedNreverS]

Im too much of perfectionist to release anything yet. While this may be my downfall it keeps me in check. Hopefully i can keep this organized.. Ill post it soon

[educatedNreverS]

also, that Lovecraft quote is perfect