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PrinceMyshkin
01-24-2012, 05:21 PM
The world is entertainment
or a religious service. Some say
it is a hologram
projected from some other place
or Auschwitz in 3-d.

Better to suffer one drop
of pure, unadulterated suffering
than to giggle your way
through a suburb of inanity.

Delta40
01-24-2012, 06:09 PM
I PM'ed my response to this insightful piece Prince. I didn't know you were going to post it so soon!

AuntShecky
01-24-2012, 08:18 PM
I follow ya, Prince. As generally the case in your posts, your observation is true. As for yours truly, though, I'm finished with suffering. Time (for me) to shed the gloom & doom.

Hawkman
01-25-2012, 05:21 AM
Hi Prince,

The the opening verse is perhaps a little fanciful, a distraction like a windmilling fist, the second provides the knock-out blow. Its essential truth can be observed in the vastness of the world, or even applied to the microcosm of these boards.

I'm not sure that the addition of, "in 3D" adds much to that opening thought though. Holograms are 3D images and the way it's worded seems to couple the concept to Auschwitz. One would have to be a serious denier to consider that particular image 2 dimentional. However, I do think the line needs something there to balance it.

The, "Some say..." has the connotations of a catchphrase on these shores. Top Gear is a BBC motoring magazine program presented by Jeremy Clarkson, who frequently uses these words as the preamble to a humerous introduction for "The Stig," a supposedly anonymous racing driver in a white helmet. It gives the opening a comedic flavour, which, I rather feel, would not have been your intent.

Live and be well - H

Little Gal
01-25-2012, 01:26 PM
it is something that everybody at some point has felt the prick of... and everyday they try and forget it, but it comes back, perhaps 10 times stronger...
d language hits hard
like it quite much!

cacian
01-25-2012, 01:53 PM
great read,beautiful word and stunning imageries.
Thank you.

aliengirl
01-25-2012, 02:55 PM
While reading the first stanza I was not ready to find such hard-hitting truth in the second one. I was a bit stunned, maybe because I have personally experienced "pure suffering" recently, though I did not realize the pain at the moment. The memory keeps haunting me, comes to me unexpectedly.
Anyway, thanks for this thoughtful poem. :)

cafolini
01-25-2012, 03:35 PM
Perhaps it's better not to suffer. But in comparison, I might agree depending on context.
Good post. I would change "suffer" for "take."

PrinceMyshkin
01-25-2012, 06:01 PM
Hi Prince,

The the opening verse is perhaps a little fanciful, I wonder if you may be using "fanciful" in some idiosyncratic way because this is, after all, a poetry forum. In any case I do mean to imply that the world as "entertainment" or as "religious ceremony" are two of my possible fancies

a distraction like a windmilling fist, the second provides the knock-out blow. Its essential truth can be observed in the vastness of the world, or even applied to the microcosm of these boards.

I'm not sure that the addition of, "in 3D" adds much to that opening thought though. Holograms are 3D images and the way it's worded seems to couple the concept to Auschwitz.Well put. I hoped for a meaningful distinction in that holograms have no substance in the usual way: one can waft hone's hand through one of them without encountering anything solid; whereas "Auschwitz in 3-d" is the very, most grim examble of substantiality: a 3-dness that, by contrast, reduces everything else to a hologram.

One would have to be a serious denier to consider that particular image 2 dimentional. However, I do think the line needs something there to balance it.

The, "Some say..." has the connotations of a catchphrase on these shores. Top Gear is a BBC motoring magazine program presented by Jeremy Clarkson, who frequently uses these words as the preamble to a humerous introduction for "The Stig," a supposedly anonymous racing driver in a white helmet. It gives the opening a comedic flavour, which, I rather feel, would not have been your intent.
Top Gear is brilliant! "Some say," over here, is meant to cast a bit of doubt on whatever follows it. I.e. the some who say what follows may be right but the speaker has his or her doubts.


Live and be well - H

Ditto.

PrinceMyshkin
01-25-2012, 06:15 PM
While reading the first stanza I was not ready to find such hard-hitting truth in the second one.Although you offer your observation in what I take to be a neutral tone, you've put your finger on a doubt I myself have had and have as to the relevance of the two stanzas to each other, although they were written one immediately after each other. I might make this defense: a hologram is created when two separate lasers are directed from different angles at the same object. The hologram can be seen when another laser is directed at the photographic image thus created. (In an unrelated feature, one might cut the photographic plate in half and then in half again and again, each smaller piece will reproduce the entire image, although it grows fainter with each smaller section.)

I was a bit stunned, maybe because I have personally experienced "pure suffering" recently, though I did not realize the pain at the moment. The memory keeps haunting me, comes to me unexpectedly.
Anyway, thanks for this thoughtful poem. :)

I am very sorry to hear of your experience of "pure suffering." Write to me about it if you think it might do you some good to do so, and thank you for your comment.

Jerry

Haunted
01-26-2012, 05:57 PM
a doubt I myself have had and have as to the relevance of the two stanzas to each other, although they were written one immediately after each other.

I actually think you integrated your thoughts quite seamlessly here:

Entertainment > hologram > 3D > inanity (Hollywood style)

Religious service > Auschwitz > suffering


Very clever piece. Also thought provoking.

PrinceMyshkin
01-26-2012, 07:41 PM
I actually think you integrated your thoughts quite seamlessly here:

Entertainment > hologram > 3D > inanity (Hollywood style)

Religious service > Auschwitz > suffering


Very clever piece. Also thought provoking.

Wow! Thanks for this deep, deep reading of the poem. It does raise for me the question: how much of what we make is the product of consciousness, and how much comes out from some other source. You really have tied everything together better than I knew I had done.

Habdou
01-26-2012, 07:48 PM
Hello Everyone,
Am glad to belong to this lovely community. The installments are really catchy and interesting.

Jerrybaldy
01-26-2012, 08:17 PM
I know that for good reason I consider you an icon.

Haunted
01-26-2012, 08:47 PM
Wow! Thanks for this deep, deep reading of the poem. It does raise for me the question: how much of what we make is the product of consciousness, and how much comes out from some other source. You really have tied everything together better than I knew I had done.

It took me a few reads and then I saw it. You'll be surprised how clear our subconscious, or the unconscious, is. Here all the pieces fit together like a finished puzzle. It also can only be possible from someone who understands suffering. That's two feathers in your cap Prince.

WolfLarsen
01-27-2012, 11:29 AM
Nice. I like it.

Bar22do
01-27-2012, 07:06 PM
[I]"a suburb of inanity" is striking with its originality.
Much matter for thought here, Prince, well achieved, as usual.
Best from Bar