Beach Encounter

[Delta40]

He runs a vessel to ground
trapped by an ocean swell

She moves
back and forth in her berth.

Under the watchful moon,
salty fluids gush forth

A million fish
swim through rockweed.

Tidal currents change
wreck their driftwood,

tear apart the fragile hold
of passing ships.

Viscous rubbery debris
hardens on the sunny shore.

[cacian]

beautiful poem Delta
The last two stanzas

tear apart the fragile hold
of passing ships.

Viscous rubbery debris
hardens on the sunny shore

are very telling and amasing to read and reread!

[Hawkman]

An original take on the concept of ships that pass in the night. Mostly I feel the imagery is approrpriate for this and well conceived (pardon the pun) although "wreck their driftwood" isn't quite the right metaphor to my mind, and I have a bit of a problem with viscous and rubbery combined in context. Viscous is a word pertaining to the property of fluids and would be appropriate for raw latex, but as the theme has me thinking of discarded prophylactics it isn't quite right. Besides, if the fish are swimming through rockweed they didn't use any... ;)

live and be well - H

[Bar22do]

This poem awoke in me a kind of a desolate déjà vu, the last two lines are particularly powerful, Delta! Hugs from Bar

[Delta40]

I thought about it and realised this: discarded prophylactics are just that - discarded and so fish do swim among the rockweed.

Perhaps it should read viscous rubber hardens on the shore.

Thanks for your reviews and for understanding the poem!

[Hawkman]

I suppose it would depend on when they were discarded ;)

LLAP - H

[Delta40]

well I'm pretty sure he didn't fall asleep afterwards....:smilewinkgrin: