Trees

[sadhana]

We rose sucking the earth's milk
Grew and branched in many directions
Leaf, flower, fruit covered us seasonally.
Winds danced and rains sang about us
In flood amd drought we waited
The birds did come back.
And the fluted cowherd leaned against our trunks
To play melodies to maids in their virginal hours.
The night's darkness lulled us
The star patterned sky was our blanket.

Now stacked in pyres by the river-bank
We wait
Bone ashes and ours to mingle
As men and trees burn together
Here at the ghats.

[Hawkman]

I rather like this, it has an elegiac quality. Watch for typos though - amd L5, and to say "fluted cowheard" says that the cowheard has grooves carved into him, which I don't think is quite what you meant. Might want to rephrase that, but otherwise, very enjoyable.

Live and be well - H

[Delta40]

I agree with Hawk. The poem has a timeless quality to it such as:

The night's darkness lulled us
The star patterned sky was our blanket.

Edit your work before posting.

Nice work

[sadhana]

Thanks for reading and commenting. I should have been careful about typos . The fluted cowherd is what I really meant. sorry

[tailor STATELY]

A good poem it is.

I would desire a few more adverbs and adjectives worthy of trees to be liberally sprinkled throughout... Like the dews of a sparkling Spring dawn; but still - a good poem as is.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Little Gal]

really liked it... it has a feel of my native land...
infact ur name sounds familiar too...
You have used the word "ghat" which is a bengali word... are u a bong?

[aliengirl]

This is a good read. :) I like the second stanza better than the first. Ah, you introduced that archetypal 'cowherd' and his 'maids' too. But like Hawk I find a 'fluted cowherd' quite odd. You may give a thought to rephrase it.

[sadhana]

Not a bong , but very appreciative of Bongs.

[sadhana]

That was a deliberate attempt to sound odd. May be I was wrong. How about "The fluting cowherd " or cowherd with a flute?