Is My Poem Metered??

[Justin Rockwell]

I took your heart and made your axis tilt,
So take my hand and feel me melt.
You mess with my brain, but it's heartfelt.
I've hurt a lot of people,
And you still let me in after seeing it in your peephole.
Help me change.

I want to so I can deserve you.
When you're sleep, I don't disturb you.
I just stare and try to think of a word for you.
It's creepy, but real, and the real feels surreal
So that makes me a nightmare, and when you awake,
I hope I'm laying right here.

I'm think it's mixed meter with iambic feet.

[MystyrMystyry]

There are 'poems' submitted here that aren't. This is a lyric (ie words to accompany some music that you hope no-one's going to try to interpret because set apart they're dreadful)

Type 'Black Sabbath Lyrics' in a search engine to see what I'm talking about.

[Hawkman]

Well you have an opening line of iambic pentameter (blank verse) but apart from the occasional iamb there is no set or consistant metre. The whole thing reads like a rap lyric. Not really my thing rap.

[hillwalker]

It's not even rap because rap generally has a specific beat.

Mixed metre? As Hawk says there is no regular metre.
To begin with the lines are mostly of different lengths.
How many syllables are there?

10 - 8 - 9 - 7 - 15 - 3 - 9 - 8 - 12 - 12 - 12 - 7
And the 3 lines of 12 near the end aren't metrical
- they could just as easily be lines of prose.

There's no consistent pattern I can make out
- some internal rhyme, some end rhyme.
Other than that it's actually a set of 12 individual statements rather than a poem.

H

[Charles Darnay]

Gone are the days where we judge a poet based on his mastery of the Classical forms. "O', what a great education he had to replicate Horace's odes so immaculately!"

Now we judge for meaning &c. So don't worry so much about metre where there is so much more you can do with your work in content.