Out of Code

[Hawkman]

The morning’s brittle as a flock of birds
and low sun shadows harbour frost
where rooftops turn their backs.

In eclipse, I freely drift,
white eyed
rendered sightless by the coldly glowing sky
where suffocating altitude
has frozen mere flesh.

In warmer climes, with time
I’ll thaw
and be consumed,
well beyond my sell-by date
and best before…

a perilous meal,
a risk unwarranted,
cast out of Eden’s larder
for the gulls,
who’ll feast.

[cacian]

Beautifully written and very rich in expressions.
I enjoyed it!!

[Buh4Bee]

You seem to consistently offer something both thought-provoking and well written. I have come to understand your writing as better than most on the forum.

As for this poem, it seems to be written from the perspective of a bird. I can follow this at a surface level, but I know I am missing more. I'll just come back and see what others post. Despite this reader's comprehension, I very much enjoyed the visual journey.

[AuntShecky]

The sublime seamlessly blends with the mundane with a reflection on the ultimate existential question expressed as a metaphor using the expiration date on a food product.

This is witty, wise, and wonderful.

[Buh4Bee]

That's a mouthful Aunty- but I think you nailed it!

[Haunted]

Very original and clever. The poem moves along like a drifting cloud, escaping the cold country to some place wonderfully warm, only to meet its demise. The last stanza is food for thought and very well done, no pun intended:

a perilous meal,
a risk unwarranted,
cast out of Eden’s larder
for the gulls,
who’ll feast

[Delta40]

Your beautiful expressions of landscape are a hallmark of your writing Hawk and I sometimes think that is why you're called Hawk - as if you're flying above it all with your keen eye noting it all down before perching on a chair and pecking out what you've seen on the keyboard with your curved beak...

[Hawkman]

cacian: Thanks very much and I'm happy to have provided something you could enjoy :)

B4B: Many thanks for the compliment, especially since you have been prompted to make a return visit :D Hope you have made sense of it now (not sure that I can ;) )

Auntie: Thanks, as always, for your attention. You seem to have gleaned something from it, which warms the desoalte canyons of my mind - lol. It pleases the Hawk to be considered wise and witty ;)

Haunted: Glad you enjoyed it but I hope you don't get botulism from my out of code thought food :D

Delta: You are too kind, although you make me sound like an ibis with my curved beak - lol. It helps to live on a hill with a view over a valley ;)

Thanks again to you all for reading and casting your pearls of appreciation before me :D

Live and be well - H

[Jerrybaldy]

Back on the birds I see. I kept thinking frozen chicken. You are always one to read (bird obssessed or not :D )

[Catamite]

I think that the opening are especially euphonic, I read them over quite a few times. Like someone else the poem drifts so gracefully that it's absorbing; and the end, it seems almost to collapse in on itself, as if it were fated. It's a lovely read.

[Hawkman]

Thanks JB, glad you enjoyed it, birds or not - lol

Catamite: I say, I hope you know what your handle means, after all, it's not as though you've chosen a brand name like vegimite only for a product brewed from distlled cats. ;)

However, I'm thrilled you got such a buz from the poem. Glad you enjoyed it. :D

Live and be well - H