Hopscotch Writing

[Delta40]

Quartz rock skims
across cobblestoned notions.
Sodden feet balance and
hopscotch past old blurbs,
expired paragraphs,
and splashes of dialogue,
all the way to square number ten.
The hand of a writer
clutches the sharp edged quartz,
gazes at the unwritten,
at thoughts not yet sown
when the game shouts Jump!
It's time to turn around once more,
time to face the other direction,
where soggy reams of yesteryear,
stacked like hospital linen laundry,
drag every hop,
every scotch
back to square number one.

[Hawkman]

Ooo, I really like this, Delta. If you were inclined to allow a tinker, I'd unbolt the first two lines and excise the definite article from between clutches and sharp. Then twould be Perfect.

Live and be well - H

[AuntShecky]

Your work just keeps getting better and better.

This one in particular "does" what it says, describing the erratic nature of
the act of writing, a seemingly erratic kind of thing while keeping its own
internal unity-- just like a kid playing a game of hopscotch stays within the
perimeters (not "parameters") of the chalk lines.

Not only that, the "lines" of your verse not only look good, they "sound" good from beginning:


Quartz rock skims
across cobblestoned notions.
Sodden feet balance and
hopscotch past old blurbs,
expired paragraphs,
and splashes of dialogue,
all the way to square number ten.




to end:



drag every hop,
every scotch
back to square number one.

Your work just keeps getting better and better. We are so fortunate to be able to have you on the LitNet.

[Delta40]

Hawk - Its mighty difficult to edit a poem when Aunt Shecky praises it from beginning to end (an honour I will treasure).

Aunt Shecky - Thank you so much. Writing is both a struggle and a joy. Hill named me Queen of the Delta Blues in FAQ's and I aim to do LitNet proud!

Thank you both for your kind reviews.

[Haunted]

Hill is right in crowning you the Queen of the Delta Blues. It takes much skill to make entwining metaphors work. There's always something unique to enjoy in your work and I found it in hospital linen laundry. Yes writing can be quite a chore but reading yours is always a pleasure.

[Delta40]

Thanks Haunted.

[PrinceMyshkin]

It is often the case in your poems - it is very much the case in this poem - that one can feel your muscles at work, engaged with the propulsive energy of your thoughts & feelings. Brava!

[MystyrMystyry]

A masterpiece! :)

[Bar22do]

Oh yes, yes, you become even better than your previous best - this poem proves it's possible!
"gazes at the unwritten" is great! (makes me think of the Jewish people "seeing the voices" at the foot of Mount Sinai...) as are "thoughts not yet sown"... Square kudos, Delta!!! and my best, Bar

[Delta40]

:grouphug: I never really wrote poetry till I found Lit-Net. :grouphug: