Here Today

[Jerrybaldy]

Melissa drew on me in History
with a permanent marker pen.
Her heart bled on my arm
straight till Sunday bath night.

I sat in Nana’s pantry
surrounded by molasses and syrups,
dusty air and cornflour.
There I should have liked to stay forever
as seasons were told
by the light
of the leaden window.
Smiling at my grandmother
as she entered over again
for gravy browning or sage.
“How you have grown”, she would say
to the man in child’s clothing.

Now that place has passed
I seek permanence
in the ethereal of your gaze.
Is my place at rest with you?

Candlelit in a cabernet hue,
stripped and flickering
in shadow animation,
like the very last picture show.

[Jack of Hearts]

Hmmmm...

Maybe we all seek permanence? Maybe the great secret is there's no such thing as security. Someone's gotta remember how this goes, but remember the Steve Jobs' Stanford commencement address? "You are already naked. You have nothing to lose."

The first line in the last stanza is particularly striking: 'Candelit in a cabernet hue.' Personally, this reader doesn't feel qualified to really critique poetry, so as usual, this one won't be very deep, except to say he liked this poem, especially the end. In a way, it's a break from your usual gritty style, but in a certain way it's not. What you wrote always had an artist's sensibility underneath it all. It was always sensitive in a certain, required way.







J

[AuntShecky]

Loved all of this (except maybe for the last line, which to me sounds like a movie title not really tying in to the rest of the resonant poem.) As in all good poems, what's most effective in this one is its specificity (is that a word?) of the images.

[hillwalker]

This is really great writing - which goes to show how 18 months on LitNet can change a writer into an artist.

H

[Haunted]

I'm in total agreement with Hill. The narration is poignant and profound, coming from the man in child’s clothing who is coming to terms with the fleeting reality of permanence in a slow one-way trip from a child's playfulness to mortality. I was so enchanted at the start, only to be taken to sadness in the very last picture show. This is one of your best piece yet Jerry.

[Jerrybaldy]

Jack. I enjoyed that line too. thank you.

Auntie. I know what you mean about the closing line but with the flickering light and the subject of the peom it seemed appropriate. thanks for commenting.

Hill. I am honoured that you would say such a thing. Coming from you particularly.

Thank you Haunted. its the next best thing to a happy ending :D