After the Blessing

[Bar22do]

A whish of dead leaves,
a scent of humid soil – I breathe
last night’s rain in the dawning day

out here in the garden, where
cats mew for food, scattering silence.

My hair yet tousled by a frantic dream,
white djellabah lathering about me
in a whirl of breeze, I stare,
pulled by the lucid chilliness
despite the cold jabbing at my soles:

rosemary shrubs, carob, the bay-tree
resurrect - sturdy, washed, clean!
And the lemons
shine up to November-white sky
and to me, upright by the cacti.

And how not to quail as I feel so whole?
From running clouds' ruffled threads
to swarming life in the damp earth,
all meet in the pristine scent, perfect,
in this moment.

(Jerusalem, November 2011)

[Delta40]

Gosh you take my breath away Bar, engaging all my senses throughout this vivid moment. Djellabah lathering seems so appropriate, given its whiteness and further along expressions of washed, clean! And the lemons (one imagines the scent immediately), which is beautifully written throughout the poem but at another level comes back to the clothing of the N as well.

Lovely to read you always Bar.

[Haunted]

Never had a poem smelled so good as the opening stanza here, and it only gets better. Frantic dream and lucid chilliness just dissolve in such sensory delights. Bar, this is yet the best of Jerusalem you've brought us.

[aliengirl]

This poem is a treat for the senses Bar. It seems that you arose from a 'frantic dream' into a paradise- washed, clean and shining. Full of vibrant life, it reminds me of Hopkins' Pied Beauty.

[Lokasenna]

I love the expressiveness of the piece. To add my voice to others, it is a sumptous and sensory-laden poem - you capture the sensations beautifully.

[Bar22do]

Many thanks Delta, Haunted, aliengirl and Locasenna for your positive reviews! I was so unsure about this one (not that I'm sure about any other of mine...) so I'm relieved you found it enjoyable...
Gratefully yours (though I'd have been equally grateful if you had felt you needed to give it a harsh constructive critique, goes without saying!),

Bar

[AuntShecky]

Among the "schoolmarmish" rants emanating from yours truly is the constant
reminder to wouldbe versifiers to fill their images with concrete items the reader can see, hear, touch, taste, and "feel"(in a palpable way.)

Leave it to dear Bar to provide a distinguished example of a poem with carefully-chosen, vivid details, in this case an appeal to the olfactory senses with the aromatic rosemary, the (chocolate-like) carob, bay, and lemons.

In many ways your work is not unlike that of Keats, who was known as a
"sensuous" poet, not "sensual," which means something else entirely. (A couple of decades ago, an author titled her particularly vulgar handbook The Sensuous Woman, getting it wrong but reaping many dollars.)

That's neither here nor there, for this piece of yours is a gem. One caveat, though: "All meet . ." rather than "all meets," since the all refers to more than one item.

[the facade]

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

[the facade]

I'll add that you have invoked a yearning in me to make a quick excursion to Jerusalem - an amazing feat in light of Jerusalem's repellant effect on me.

Keep on writing poetry that inspires me to see more of my country!

[PrinceMyshkin]

This poem is like a miraculous sudden upgrowth of vegetation after a fresh rainfall.

[Bar22do]

So good to read your feedbacks, Auntie (caveat taken seriously and word corrected), the façade and Prince.

Auntie, "sensuous", because of how it sounds - sensuous!, is one of my preferred words in Engl (with some others, like "fortuity", "fortuitous", for entirely other reasons).
Ah, the façade, will you stop being such a typical Tel Aviv'ian and give up your preconceptions regarding Jerusalem?! just come over and taste the place, you won't be deceived, promise!
Prince, the first rains here are always a revelation...

As usual your reviews mean a lot to me, thanks a lot, best to you three and to all

Bar