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Pendragon
01-08-2012, 10:31 AM
Raising Hell on Friday night-
Shots of tequila under neon lights
Cold, foggy elephant still sits on chest
Didn't take too long to figure out that life is a b*tch
I could go home, but I'd be so lonely there
A man this full of depression doesn't fit in anywhere
So another shot, another beer, maybe it will numb my brain
I'll get to feeling better when I'm feeling no pain-
the night drags on...

Cute little blonde comes snuggling up to me
Says we can have a party that I wouldn't believe
Her perfume and poster don't affect my icy stare
She suddenly remembers that she has business elsewhere
What do you mean, friend, I can't light my pipe in here?
Have you forgot just who is paying for the tequila and the beer?
Another shot, another beer! What do you mean I've had enough?
If you want to cure depression, man, alcohol's the stuff!
the night drags on...

Loud mouthed idiot goes grabbing for my paltry change
Says he takes exception to the way my face is arranged
I'm too damn old to worry about every punk I run into
But he don't know who he's messing with, he don't have a clue!
Barkeep's getting nervous, has the police on the line
But Loud Mouth backs off before these icy eyes of mine
Alright! I'm going! And yes, I'll pay up the tab
No I think I can walk home now, no need to call a cab
the night drags on...

God, how the night drags on...

Pendragon
(C) 2012

PrinceMyshkin
01-08-2012, 11:56 AM
One of your very best, my friend. There's a wonderful companionship between the 'message' and your relaxed use of vernacular. The end-rhymes have the virtue of being, at times, unpredictable - and witty!

Alexander III
01-08-2012, 01:12 PM
Cute little blonde comes snuggling up to me
Says we can have a party that I wouldn't believe
Her perfume and poster don't affect my icy stare


Teach me your secrets ohh master :cheers2:

I liked the poem it captures that sense of things and environment very well.

Buh4Bee
01-08-2012, 05:38 PM
It's very engaging.

There is nothing forced by the rhyme. You do this well.

Good reads on a Sunday evening!

MystyrMystyry
01-08-2012, 06:28 PM
And a brilliant read on a Monday morning!

Good to see you back in the commentary thread Pen - and with a doozy to boot!

Pendragon
01-09-2012, 10:43 AM
Thank you for your kind comments, friends! This just sort of spilled out of me. Been having another round with my illness. I don't drink, but I used to, and the ambiance is still there in my brain. Glad you enjoyed this. :)

WolfLarsen
01-09-2012, 12:15 PM
Good and honest. It's not every day that I like a rhyming poem, but I like this one. For once in a contemporary poem maybe the rhyme even helps, but maybe not. Can't say I'm really sure on that score.

Good poem. Very real. I'm into very real right now.