rain and musing —

[Astromaxis]

sometimes I listen to rain
it seems to have much to say
like an old schoolmate in a cafe
the clouds helping to unseal the envelope or was it thunder?
cloud the envelope, the thunder the knife

was it beautiful
oh yes
rain spoke softly
with gusto
with formality
and amicability

the many faces and tones
like a child in play
or a lover feeling love

or a novelist writing in a grey world
pausing only to see the rays of sun.▬

[hillwalker]

You'reasking us to take in rather too much with this piece I fear

- verse 2 listing a number of contradictory images - 'softly/with gusto' - you can't have both unless you're reflecting on the many guises of rain.

- verse 3 just makes no sense (how can rain be all this?)

- and the opening verse is also confusing due to the abrupt jump from someone talking in a cafe to a knife cutting open an envelope.

I think if you were to focus on one or two metaphors and concentrate on developing them further it would be more effective. The final couplet for instance is promising.

H