Facebook Persona

[drakemortuare13]

A name not mine,
A face unlike me.
A picture and profile
Is all that can be seen.

It has no heart,
Its soul is emtpy.
And yet it is part
Of what I pretend to be.

My puppet, my mask,
My ungodly tool.
Oh, the pain that it strikes
Into those who are fooled.

A thousand words it knows
And emotions it can read
Just a single, blackened heart
Is all that it needs.

She thinks its an angel
With open, wide-spread wings.
But so little, does she know:
It is I who pulls the strings.:devil:

[Buh4Bee]

I found the dark humor in this amusing, even if it has a juvenile pretense to it.

[Jack of Hearts]

It is kind of funny. But the way it's expressed seems a little 'off' for the subject matter- it seems like imitation of some form/forced rhyme scheme or another.

Check stanza two, line two for a typo. And keep pulling the strings.








J

[drakemortuare13]

thank you for the constructive criticism. it is greatly appreciated

[Pensive]

It made me smile. :) And the smiley in the end has quite an impact too you know! :D

[Pensive]

.....

[drakemortuare13]

I originally wasn't going to add the smiley, but after a few second thoughts, I had too. And forgive me for no replying so quickly. I just got back from a rather long underway.