Surf's Up

[hillwalker]

SURF’S UP

As the prophecies of Malachi
foretold flood and conflagration
so the Twelve Lost Tribes of Wall Street
cursed the Disney generation.

From the poisoned shores of Su-mich-on
it’s a long drive to Francisco;
wipers picking up the rhythm,
broken banjos on the radio.

I saw Christmas lights in mid-August,
pale-faced angels armed with rifles,
alligators on the freeway,
blind Apaches selling Bibles.

There’s a trailer park in Alcatraz
forty fathoms under water
where the refugees of Tinseltown
built a sacrificial altar.

From the tilting hills of Hollywood
come the Legions of El Nino
searching sunken drives and boulevards
for the ghost of Tarantino.

Sofa Sam astride his surfing board:
“I’m the last surviving ‘quaker.
Hallelujah, come to Elvis,
grab a joint an’ meet your maker.”

H

[Jerrybaldy]

I read this as Hill's Christmas Speech :) The state of the nation, or the state of the Western world... and no doubt soon the Eastern world. I had to google malachi , which proved interesting.

It felt apocalyptic, iconoclastic and iconic and it is full of wonderful turns of phrase (or is that terms of phrase?)

Whats cooler than being cool? Being Hillwalker.

Brilliant.
I nearly forgot to say... has anybody seen Hill the rhyme hater??? :)

JerryB

[hillwalker]

It felt apocalyptic, iconoclastic and iconic - JerryB

Well that was the intention - a tongue-in-cheek commentary on the Western world (namely post-apocalypse USA which probably wouldn't be very much different from how it looks today to us mere outsiders).

Thanks for your kind reading - now I just need someone to set this to music. Rhyme? I loves it.

H

[Hawkman]

The rythm's a bit ragged but there are some great lines. "The twelve lost tribes of Wall Street" is wonderful. Not so sure about "Broken banjos on the radio" though did you mean "duelling banjos"? which would sort of make more sense. But the poem hops about a bit location wise. From talking about San Francisco and Alcatraz, the underwater trailer park reference completely lost me I'm afraid, we are suddenly transported to Hollywood. I'm not sure why you've got an apostrophe before quaker, which I immediately thought was a religious reference to the Society of Friends, but I suppose you mean "earthquake survivor". I guess the last verse is an equivallent for fiddling while Rome burns, with your "everyman" Sofa Sam smoking dope and surfing while the world goes all to hell.

An interesting read though.

Live and be well - H

[hillwalker]

Hi Hawk,

The metre is a bit haphazard, agreed - 9-8-8-8 (but 9-8-9-8 for the two penultimate verses).

Locationwise it traces the escape West from the chemically polluted MidWest/Great Lakes to the reconfigured post-earthquake shoreline of California - hence Alcatraz being underwater and the tilting hills of Hollywood.

And yes -'quaker' is indeed a soubriquet for an earthquake survivor, rather ironically losing its historical/religious significance.

'duelling banjos' from 'Deliverance' was indeed the inspiration for the 'broken banjos' line.

A bit of a hit and miss affair overall I accept - just a playful experiment truth be told in creating a widescreen portrait of post-apocalyptic cults, etc. who finally were proved correct in their perennial warnings that 'The End of the World is Nigh'.

Thanks for taking the trouble to give an astute reading as always.

H

[blank|verse]

It's a forgivably ragged ballad, hill, with shades of Hunter S. Thompson, Ginsberg and Cormac McCarthy's 'The Road'! Enjoyable stuff.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I think it's Blake on speed! It fairly hums with the pleasure you must have had writing it.

The "twelve lost tribes of Wall Street" is indeed brilliant but so is "The blind Apaches selling Bibles" and several other lines.

[Haunted]

There's a lot to decipher and digest here, and just for it's creativity it's well worth the time.

[AuntShecky]

The rhyme scheme's a little out of whack-- wacky(?)
Rifles/bibles; water/altar, etc.

The spirit, nonetheless, is zany, or would be if "zany" weren't perjorative as it's become these recent days. This piece comes from a place where Ginsberg and I daresay Dwight MacDonald would feel at home, or iz I wrong?

[hillwalker]

Thanks everybody

@b|v - I was thinking more late-60's Bob Dylan. I've just got myself a copy of 'The Road' so reading that is going to be my selfish post-Christmas treat to myself in between the obligatory carousing.

@Prince - Blake on speed? I wish. A nip or two of Southern Comfort to warm the brain cells but that's all. But indeed I did have great fun writing this one - I'm glad that came across if nothing else has.

@Haunted - you should know by now my stuff takes time to get into. Thanks for your generous comments.

And @Aunty - perhaps wonky rhyme rather than wacky?
I can't say my social commentary is on a par with MacDonald's but I can see where the comparison with beat poetry comes in (see above - Bob Dylan circa 1965's 'Highway 61 Revisited' possibly).

H

[blank|verse]

Thanks hill. The Road is pretty grim going, but brilliantly written. Good time of year to read it, perhaps.

And as for the half-rhymes, I think 'ingenious' is the word you're after, considering this is the 21st century and all...

[Jack of Hearts]

So why the images of the end of days, anyways? What drew you to that? If you're going to sink this reader's home he wants an explanation!






J

[hillwalker]

Just doodling, Jack. Just doodling... as I read the runes and study the patterns of the stars and listen to the voices in my head.

No, just kidding. There are so many merchants of doom and gloom predicting the end of days on your side of the puddle I thought I'd pretend they were right for a change. And it's so much more interesting to write about the West coast of the USA sinking under the Pacific than a tsunami wiping out Blackpool.

H