Evanescence

[Sionn Harrow]

Evanescence
A man awoke and saw that he was caught
Within a dire pit of uncertainty.
“Why am I?” he cried, weeping and distraught—
Voice drowned by the tears of humanity.
Life’s glorious colors so quickly fade—
For whom will the glory of life remain?
Even the mightiest of what man’s made
Lasts only as long as the falling rain.
The man stood boldly and climbed the great walls,
But only darkness lay beyond the pit.
A thousand questions dwell in simple scrawls,
But there are no answers worth a pig’s spit.
I climbed the mountain of reality—
Life is a dream that means nothing to me.

A sonnet I wrote for school...:P Any and all criticisms are welcome-- I'd like to be able to fix it before I have to turn it in. Thanks in advance...

[hillwalker]

The rhyme's ok - the metre trips up here and there if you're aiming for strict iambic pentameter (but if not then at least each line has the requisite number of syllables - just about).

My only criticism is the phrase 'a pig's spit' - it's rather a crass expression in a sonnet that's otherwise quite elegantly written.

H