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View Full Version : New to the forum! Need a bit of help with a phrase!



MikeHadley
12-03-2011, 04:39 PM
Was browsing around for a forum like this! By the looks of things, I think a few people may be able to help me with this.

"A pretty girl with a friend is as plausible as love, free of trends".

I can't seem to wrap my head around what the correct grammar should be. Should It be trend instead of trends? Should there be a colon instead of a comma?

Charles Darnay
12-03-2011, 05:51 PM
probably should be a colon instead of comma.

"trends" works better than "trend".

However, grammar is not the biggest issue with this phrase: meaning is.

MikeHadley
12-03-2011, 06:00 PM
probably should be a colon instead of comma.

"trends" works better than "trend".

However, grammar is not the biggest issue with this phrase: meaning is.

Appreciate the response Charles!

Quick question, are you implying that grammer should come second in a phrase like this? or the lack of meaning is the issue not the grammar?

LitNetIsGreat
12-03-2011, 06:13 PM
Hi, I think he means that it's a clumsy sentence that doesn't make much sense.

MikeHadley
12-03-2011, 06:26 PM
Hi, I think he means that it's a clumsy sentence that doesn't make much sense.

A pretty girl doesn't usually have "just a friend". Modern love is filled with trends.

LitNetIsGreat
12-04-2011, 05:44 AM
Better to just say that then. You've re-worked the sentence is plain English and it reads better. Compare them:


"A pretty girl with a friend is as plausible as love, free of trends".


A pretty girl doesn't usually have "just a friend". Modern love is filled with trends.

The second is an improvement on the first (though you can still play around with it a bit). As a general rule, trying to push an overtly 'literary' style in creative writing is a bad idea.