Peeping Tom

[Fellsman]

The learned Judge decided
That when trying any crime
All those called as a witness
Must give evidence in rhyme.

A couple were before the court
Accused of conduct lewd
Al fresco sex in Regent's Park
They'd frolicked in the nude.

Their plea was of "Not guilty"
Of lewd conduct in the park
They claimed in mitigation
'Twas at night and almost dark.'

A prosecution witness -
Nosey Parker was his name
Said he'd observed their passion
As they'd coupled without shame.

"How can you be so sure Sir?"
Defending Counsel cried -
"They weren't simply canoodling?
The light had almost died."

Now Parker stopped to ponder
Like a dame in pantomime
Conscious that he had to give
His evidence in rhyme.

"Well Sir" - said Nosey Parker
"Light was fading at the time
But I was very close indeed
To this outrageous crime"

"I saw to my amazement
These defendants in the dock
Engaged in heinous congress
Oh so brazen - as to shock"

"Their clothes they had discarded
And their rumps were both quite bare
Now if that wasn't rampant sex -
What would YOU call it Sir?"

The judge admonished Parker
"That's enough from you therefrom
Six months in jail for your bad rhyme
And being a Peeping-Tom."

[hillwalker]

Very amusing - I'm assume this is your Community Service punishment for some other heinous crime. Keeping us amused in rhyme.

H

[Bar22do]

as hill said, amusing and well put! have enjoyed, thank you - best, Bar

[Buh4Bee]

:smilielol5:
Most amusing!

[Fellsman]

Hi Hillwalker

A positive review :smile5: I am most grateful, thank you...

Fellsman

[Fellsman]

T:

Buh4Bee

and

Bar22do


Thanks for your positive comments...

Fellsman

[Jack of Hearts]

I'm assume this is your Community Service punishment for some other heinous crime. Keeping us amused in rhyme.

This rhymes.


A positive review I am most grateful, thank you...

So does this.

Fellsman, the harsh rhyme scheme and archaic phrasing is alienating this reader from the inherent humor in this- which was still funny at various turns, but worse for the wear because of it.

Maybe we have to call it a difference in opinion.







J

[cacian]

very amusing way of looking at life and its frivolities or shall I say frolics..haha.
beautiful rhymes, clever lines and lots of wit which I adore.
thank you Fellman.

[Fellsman]

Hi J o H


We will indeed agree to differ, I simply do not understand what you modernists have against rhyme and metre. At a stroke you consign much of the most beautiful poetry ever written to the dustbin of history. What is so wrong with archaic language? The KJV bible is the most widely read bible of all time because of its beautiful soaring rhetoric.

The problem with you modernists is that everything must be dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. You are so typical of the current breed of writers who churn out the tripe so prevalent on our TV screens - (For God's sake never write ANYTHING too intellectual for the plebs to understand).

Personally I get fed up with people who write pretentious prose and post it as poetry. I also get fed up with people who cannot or will not see the beauty in some of the so-called archaic language written by the great poets - and actually pity them, they miss out on so much wonderful literature and poetry.

Agree to differ? As you wish. I do recognise that it would indeed be a dull world if everyone was of the same opinion in matters of taste.

Regards

Fellsman

[Jack of Hearts]

Haha, well this reader doesn't feel like a 'modernist', whatever that is. But you probably know more about poetry than he does, so he'll take your word for it.

A lot of your response seems to be offering bait, though. This reader won't bite, haha. Come on man, you had to have written it that way on purpose!

This reader assures you, he hasn't 'dumbed down' anything. 'Dumbing down' implies that it was originally of a certain quality and then was made stupid. This reader will tell you that his work, if it is dumb, comes out that way all by itself, lol.

Please do not mistake differing tastes for intolerance of, or even hatred of, what you offer. This reader does see good things in your poetry. It's just that the things he mentioned, in his opinion (which is uneducated and lacks authority, mostly), work against the things he likes about your poems.


Keep sharing!




J

[Odette68]

A truly excellent poem Sir Fellsman.

[Fellsman]

J o H

Hand of friendship is hereby offered: I note you are from the US State governed by Arnold (that is if he still IS Governor). In all seriousness, I really do think writers are opinion formers and all should be allowed their point of view. I also (to be honest) enjoy a little debate, which incidently, I think benefits us all.

If writers (and I include poets) cannot freely speak their minds, then the entire world is doomed, because cliché though this undoubtedly is, the pen most certainly is mightier than the sword.

Yours with respect.

Fellsman

[Fellsman]

Hi Cacian

&

Hi Odette68


Thank you dear ladies for commenting so positively...

[hillwalker]

Hmm - I'll have to disagree with your suggestion that removing rhyme and archaic language is dumbing down. You really do need to read some serious contemporary poetry - if that's dumbing down then goodness knows what Wordsworth was trying to do during his day.

H

[Fellsman]

Wordsworth? Oddly enough, although living in the Lake District only a short drive from Grasmere where he spent most of his life, I am no fan of Wordsworth and never have been. In particular I find his "Daffodils" poem twee and highly overrated, both in content and style.

The most recent contemporary poetry I have read is by our newish Poet Laureate, the almost unreadable Carol Ann Duffy, whose so-called poetry is turgid to point that it makes this reader almost want to slash his wrists. Her work is uninspiring, prosey, pretentious and has little if any literary merit. John Betjeman, eat your heart out!

Having said that, should there not be a place for poetry of all kinds on forums such as this? My point being that even if one is a fan of contemporary poetry, surely it is very blinkered to suggest we should all write like that. And should not at least some of the poets who post to this site have the opportunity to write more traditional styles of poetry? I have written free verse, and promise that my next submission on this site will be in free verse.

My attraction to this site is that at least, these issues get discussed, which I think is a benefit to all.

Kudos

Fellsman

[hillwalker]

Oh well - CAD is only one side of contemporary poetry - in her case, poems written to order either by the Daily Mirror or the establishment given her current status. But not all her poems are turgid - nor is Betjeman's work a completely twee-free zone.

Perhaps you should try the likes of Don Paterson or Simon Armitage. I enjoy their work immensely - but am also a huge fan of Blake and Donne. It's not a case of liking one or the other but not both. As you so eloquently write, this is a forum for poets to write the poetry they enjoy most. But I would never aspire to write in the style of Blake or Donne per se because their poetry has its place in time and far be it from me to try and follow in their footsteps. It's 2011 - art by its very nature moves with the times and is often the only untainted medium by which one can look back and get a true feeling for what those times were really like.

H