Earthquake

[Hawkman]

An eye, heavy lidded, opens with a smile
as she stretches like a languid cat.
Her claws dig deep in pillows.

Beneath the sheet,
her back's a concave slope
from buttocks raised to snowy peaks.

His fingers slalom down the piste
and play with curls
that tangle at her neck.

The land rolls,
a seismic shift
as continents exchange their place;

A new world
to be explored by eager pioneers
has taken shape.

[Haunted]

Wow. This is one of those "I wish I wrote this" moments. I'm expecting this much sensuality to not only move platonic plates but with enough aftershocks to hit the shores with tidal waves that last for years.

[Jack of Hearts]

Platonic plates being ideal plates. Or, perhaps, plates that are just friends.

But Haunted is right in her enthusiasm for this piece. Your scope and direction seem to be changing lately, Man Who is Also a Hawk.

This reader would even say you're on a roll.






J

[AuntShecky]

Like the old Carole King song, aye? "I feel the earth move under my feet."

The piece begins with feline imagery, switches to allusions to skiing, and then concludes with the seismic upheaval promised in the title. The three motifs are nicely wrought, but I wish I could see more of a connection or clearer segues among them.

[hillwalker]

Nice imagery, Hawk. I'm guessing you've been watching 'Frozen Planet' and thought a thaw was overdue.

The playful metaphors actually combine well once we get beyond the opening verse that introduces the bedroom scenario but focuses on her face rather than her terra incognita.

H

[blank|verse]

"O, my America, my new found land..." have you been reading John Donne recently, Hawk?

But this is largely nicely done, with a few minor quibbles. The last stanza, or maybe it's just the last line, is a bit prosaic - but I'm not keen on 'eager' pioneers. And as for 'seismic' - are you sure you don't mean 'tectonic', as you're talking about continental plates moving?

[Hawkman]

Haunted: Yes, I seem to have overlooked tsunamis in my lexicon of metaphors :D but the moment doesn’t include a climax, merely the opening moves of the second round… I’m immensely pleased that you enjoyed this little offering so much :)

Jack: Thank you too. I do seem to be disinclined to revisit old ground so I’m glad my exploration of alternative themes meets with your approval. Let’s hope the roll doesn’t prove to be all down hill – lol

Auntie: Well, I went out of my way to refrain from using “the earth moved” lol. For me at least there was a sort of logical progression: but I’m loath to spell it out, at least not yet anyway. :)

Hill: thanks very much, a change of scene is always nice :D I was trying to go for sensual rather than erotic.

b/v: Sadly no, not recently. I’m sorry that you find my closing metaphor prosaic though. For the scene/circumstance I had in mind I thought it was fitting. I did consider tectonic when writing, and it did appeal to my constructivist soul, but plate tectonics equate with continental drift which is something which happens in geological time. It is the seismic events that it engenders which are more fitting to the sudden rocking of one’s world, more in keeping with the poem’s title.

Perhaps I have been a little mixed in my metaphors equating bodies with continents, but I thought the idea of continents rolling over was quite poetic ;)

Thank you all for reading and commenting on this, especially as you all seem to have found something to like in it.

Live and be well - H