3 - 2 - 1

[hillwalker]

3
The circus police arrested me
and said “don’t clown around.
We catch you stealing one more stilt
your feet won’t touch the ground.”

2
Black-belt Bruce is on the loose,
his body parts are work of arts.
A stomach flat as an ironing-board,
A pen-is mightier than a sword.

1
Barbie phoned the other day.
“A little stranger’s on the way.
Will you make an honest woman of me, Ken?”
So round ‘er ‘ouse I goes,
blacks ‘er eye and bleeds ‘er nose
and says “Never ever lie to me again.”

H

[Hawkman]

Nice to see you gracing us with an offering hill. Three nutty little humerous pieces for us to get our teeth into. Great pace and rhythm although L2 of 2 should be "...works of art." I get the point of the last line of this one, but it is a bit of a shift in the metaphor to go to pens and swords when what has gone before has concentrated on his body, rather than other weapons. Can't fault the other two though. Thanks for giving me a smile.

Live and be well - H

[blank|verse]

hill-arious.

[Jack of Hearts]

Almost missed that classic bit in the second poem by virtue of a well-placed hyphen.

These are just fun. The actual poem aspects are there but subdued and second to the expression of your devilish nature. There's something to that.

1 is a horrific account of spousal abuse. That's some seriously dark humor. Really effective.

3 is definitely the most tame but has it's charm by so closely improvising on the same riff ("circus").

And 2 is up to something more than this reader though upon first reading.






J

[hillwalker]

Thanks guys for bothering to comment on what was a frivolous posting at best

Hawk - the erroneous phrase 'work of arts' was an intentional grammatical mistake (putting rhyme ahead of reason I suppose).
And I trust you spotted the hid-den reference to another of Bruce's body parts in the closing line of the same poem.

H

[Delta40]

a pen-is? lol

[Hawkman]

Hi hill, yes I did realise the reason for the gramatical aberration, but it isn't necessary as the rhyme and assonance still work when gramatically correct. I must confess I completely missed the hyphen and misread the last line. Haven't done enough crosswords recently. :D

Live and be well - H

[Jerrybaldy]

I would never have got the knob joke tbh, but that is my shortcoming (so to speak) . Always, always a pleasure Hill.

[Haunted]

Very amusing, 3 and 2, but have mixed feelings about 1. It definitely got the edge but not sure if it's too much of an edge for me, being that I'm the same gender as Barbie.... I think I'm watching too many real crime stories and starting to lose my sense of humor. Like they say, it's me, not you :D

[john7]

It warms the heart to read posts like this.http://images.thebestexercisebikes.net/images/smile.gif

[Alexander III]

I like it, it is fun. I gives you a smile when you read it which is something unfortunately underrated in poetry. Its a fun little thing. I suspect it is much harder to write than it looks. Good effort.

[hillwalker]

Yes, it was a fun exercise, nothing deep or significant (for a change), so thanks J7 and A3 for your kind comments.

Delta and Jerry -got there in the end but I expected better.

Haunted -I can see why the humour sits uncomfortably with 1. It was of course meant to mock Ken's moronic misinterpretation of Barbie's request that he marry her now she's expecting rather than trivialise domestic abuse as I'm sure you know.

And Hawk -'work of arts' was intentional in order to maintain the light-heartedness of the piece so I hope I'm excused this singular grammatical aberration. :-)

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Lots of fun but the title if nothing else led me to try to read these as a continuous narrative.

[AuntShecky]

The entire trio was a "laff riot."

'Tis the first time yours truly has seen the singular form of "stilts," so that's
why you'll get no argument from me re: "work of arts."

And re: #1. It's not about "spousal abuse"-- these are dolls, people!
Two things we already know:
1. Barbie's "iconic" physical attributes have been proven to be completely
impossible. The same same measurements on her real-life counterpart would, among other handicapping conditions, render her physically incapable of standing erect.

2. And speaking of "erect," "Ken" along with his militaristic counterpart, "G.I.
Joe" are anatomically incorrect. That makes both dolls, er "action figures"
eunuch, er-- unique!

Ergo, "Barbie's" announcement that she's infanticipating can only be a lie!

So there!

[hillwalker]

Thanks Auntie - indeed one normally sees a 'pair of stilts' but presumably a singular 'stilt' must exist in the universe of monopods. And you're absolutely right about Barbie and Ken's genitally challenged situation, but here I was anticipating Ken's literal attempt to 'make an honest woman' of his plastic spouse.

And Prince - no, there was no continuity intended (or indeed achieved). If anything they were scribbled in response to Hawk's 4 .. a countdown of sorts.

H

[kittypaws]

My humble opinion....I smiled and chucked to myself.

thank you H ~ I needed a laugh.

Luved them.....and I got the pen-is plug!!

:rofl:

kittypaws

[hillwalker]

Thanks kitty - and your opinion ain't humble as you well know.

H