Purple, Not Blue

[MarkBastable]

Not a poem, but a song I wrote....ooh...twenty years ago. But it's been in my head recently, so I thought I'd get it out....



Purple, Not Blue

You threw a Celtic Cross on some long-dead bishop’s bed.
I smoked your cigarettes,
humming half a tune that that had been rustling in my head
all day.
You put the cards away.
There was no-one in that room but me and you.
Had you looked inside me, like you used to do,
I knew
you’d see purple, not blue.

When I flog these dirty pictures like I did in Amsterdam,
I’m almost loveable.
You’d think I was the only one with hold-alls full of contraband
I bought
in wicked foreign ports.
In a pocket diary you secret the real dope.
I’m thumbing through it, looking for a note
that’s true
and purple, not blue.

We were lifted off the East Side like a misdealt blackjack hand.
I might have married you.
I reckoned I had time enough to buy and twist, then stand
or fold
against a simple band of gold.
I sat a couple out and then I bust.
You raised the stakes with unembarrassed lust
‘cos you knew
love’s purple, not blue.

[Jack of Hearts]

It's hard to comment on song lyrics. This reader feels, if he reads this as a poem, he runs into a lot of questions. But, like you said, it's not a poem.

There seems to be a recurrent motif of playing cards. The words ultimately provide the image of a sordid love affair in a dirty place, but this reader would need more help working it out on any specific level.

As lyrics they probably 'work,' but that's a meaningless statement because, looking at pop music today, what doesn't? Also, it's hard to tell what exactly you're trying to say with the words 'purple, not blue'; it's as though you've purposely left too much room for the reader to invent a conclusion.

This reader is no expert on song lyrics. But it's pleasant to see the depth the lyrics reach for- whether or not they make it is going to take a smarter response than this one to determine.






J



PS Post more here. Try poetry, too.

[MarkBastable]

I think most of that's fair. I often make the argument that it's a bit of an insult to a good lyric to say it's poetry. If it's poetry, then it's a bad lyric, because a lyric must leave something for the music to do. If it works on its own, on the page, then it has failed as a component of a song - which comprises lyric, music and performance.

So, by my own lights, I shouldn't really have posted this at all - because if it's any good as a lyric it ought not work entirely in this medium. Which you say it doesn't. Which is probably a compliment, actually.

It was a whim, though. Thank you for giving it some time and thought.

[hillwalker]

Very Procol Harum-ish, which isn't a bad thing; Keith Reid was primarily a poet yet he wrote the lyrics for all their songs (including the seminal 'Whiter Shade of Pale') as you probably know.

H

[blank|verse]

I think this is largely very good, but I can't help feel the refrain 'purple, not blue' isn't strong enough to hold the weight of the rest of it. The structure of it brings to mind Stevie Smith's 'Not waving, but drowning'. But as you say, it's intended as a song lyric, so maybe it works better in context.

[Jack of Hearts]

So, by my own lights, I shouldn't really have posted this at all - because if it's any good as a lyric it ought not work entirely in this medium. Which you say it doesn't. Which is probably a compliment, actually.

Well, let's not go using the 'should' word. This reader thinks that the submission of this lyric increases the net value of the board in a positive way. If you want to post more song lyrics, go for it- we'll all just get better at reading/critiquing them.

On the other hand, you could always post the actual song, if you are actually a musician.






J

[MarkBastable]

W
On the other hand, you could always post the actual song, if you are actually a musician.
J

I'm tempted. But the only existing recording of this was the demo I made for the band, late one night, on a four-track cassette, one bottle, twenty-five Marlboros and a drum-synth deep, and I was probably focussedly-sad at the time. Me, I like the recording - but it's not for public consumption, even in a forum as kind as this.

But thank you for encouraging me to post. I'll rack up the nostalgic bottles and the regrettable Marlboros, and see whether the younger me insists that I take you up on the invitation.

[Alexander III]

I think it's fine, not remarkable but definitely decent. It is like this because it uses some symbolist techniques like which exploded in the 60's songs, but it doesn't really seems to know how to use the symbolist techniques. It puts a lot in but it leaves no effect.