We are family

[Jerrybaldy]

A liquorice lace noose hangs from the door hook,
Billy is bouncing to reach it.
Janice has her hands cupped, a hundred halib orange,
glow on her fat wet face.
Ben is full of wine gums,
he wants to sleep like uncle Tom.
Daddy looks up from his lover’s buttocks,
to see that the kids are okay.
Mummy is busy with a custard slice
and the white lines on her mirror.
Unridden bikes rust in the yard.
Apples rot beneath the tree.

[PrinceMyshkin]

The procession of related details is lively and funny - but the unexpected switch in the last two lines takes an intriguing turn.

[Haunted]

You made a dysfunctional family deceptively fun and full of life, only to be peppered by ominous imageries: A liquorice lace noose, white lines on her mirror, rusting bikes, and rotting apples at the end. I'm thinking a good number of people can relate to this.

[Bar22do]

The last line, in my view, sums it all up. What a family! And a talented writing, Jerry,
best from Bar

[deryk]

You really have a way of romanticizing dysfunction. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

[hillwalker]

Great piece - I thought the killer line was

Daddy looks up from his lover’s buttocks,/to see that the kids are okay.

when they are so obviously not.

H

[DieterM]

Yes, I have to agree with hillwalker about that killer line of yours. I was drawn to the poem by the title, humming Sister Sledge when I clicked on the link (humming against my will – tis not a favourite tune of mine). You remember the stanza "Just let me state for the record/We're giving love in a family dose"? Well, the family dose is very strong here, albeit not in the way I expected it to be. My, was I not deceived by your powerful lines! And that great ending, the rotten apples and rusting bikes, I just could see them with my mind's eyes (and thought I even heard a rusting swing grate in the wind...)

[Hawkman]

JB you are a modern Hogarth! Your poem had me thinking of his print, "Gin Lane."

[qimissung]

Yes, a very dysfunctional family, and such compelling imagery.

[kittypaws]

I could picture it all...so well done.
Yet it made me sad.

but that is what great poetry does...it brings out our feelings.

IMHO you did a great job with this one Jerrybaldy.

kittypaws

[Jack of Hearts]

This reader must agree with the previous posters. A great read. And the buttocks like, like Dieter said, was killer.






J

[Jerrybaldy]

thank you all and particular thanks to Hill for picking up on the line the whole piece was based around.