Alien Invasion!

[(PRK)ONTHERUN]

Beyond our galaxy, the aliens prepare
Through the cosmos they travel, causing death and despair
Into our atmosphere; our enemies attack
Onto the ground, striking with sticks and bats
Inside homes, surprised people shriek and shout
Among the children, babies cry and pout
Around my house, they surrounded us like locusts
In order to survive we needed to be focused
Beneath the floor we heard shovels clanging
Over our heads, pots and pans were banging
Upon our chests we had swords and shields
Behind our house, they destroyed our corn fields!
Inside our home, the aliens appeared
Toward us they approached, the time was near
Against me they pointed a gun, “Tough luck”
And that’s when I finally woke up


Please comment on this and tell me what you think :smile5:

[PrinceMyshkin]

Kind of fun. Check out Tim Burton's Mars Attacks!

[hillwalker]

Amusing - but the forced rhyming destroys it for me.

You end up writing nonsensical lines in order to continue with the rhyme. It would have been much better to do away with it and write what you really wanted to write.

H

[Sameer Telkar]

Yes as hillwalker said,try to avoid forceful rhyming and also reflect.Poetry is nothing but reflection.