Labyrinth.

[Twixn]

Labyrinth.

If I'm living in a dream
I'm not living the dream
wandering back to the same spots
lucid fingertips have true memories
they always end up climbing
following back over the ridges of your curves
it's like an echo
fading when you part your lips and utter goodbye
I've heard the same words scraping over the distance between us
caught it right in the gut, I almost vomited
instead my soul curdled as I held it down
let it twist the tender spots,
the ones I haven't run by in a few months
the forgotten labyrinth of emotions only a boy could muster
the imagination of love is a tricky maze.
I love getting lost in it,
but wandering the old halls alone in reminisce
is harder to find the joy hidden in these whispering walls
at first they urge you to flee, even point out the options
guilt forms at the bottom of every stomach pit
only after time heals and tends to the gardens of the labyrinth
can you return to remember how much she made you smile.

[Twixn]

I guess dues must be paid before I can get some feedback...

I'll do my best to check out some peoples poems in the near future.

[deryk]

You disguise the subjects of your poem when they shouldn't be. "Same spots", "same words", "options" are all murky tags that need to be replaced with something specific. I understand the images and the atmosphere, it has a nice quasi-cinematic quality in a way, but I think it's important to reveal more about what the poem is about, because the vagueness and symbolism doesn't do anything beyond establishing a tone. You've painted the tone well, now give us something to chew.