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DocHeart
11-03-2011, 05:43 PM
Movers

My next home up on the next hill
Two months' rent paid up-front, walls
Coated thickly with fresh paint like
A long-ago debutante gagging for a screwdriver
Beckons seductively.

"Come, carress my kitchen cupboards -
No rush! My wiring knows how to tickle
Your slowly dimming creative spotlight.
A quickie in the loft? For sure!
Ample storage there for your one-night stands,
And for hangovers, too."

In tandem, my soon-to-be ex-flat reproaches me:
"Was I no more than passing fancy? What of
The rainy days on which you called in sick
Just to inhale the smoothness of my ceilings?
And the novellas written on my balcony -
Were they just empty words? Fine then.
Leave.
And take that punk Lautrec with you."

I pack my past and DHL it
To a tomorrow that's neither here or there
With a brown cloud of hair bobbing beside me.
Don't you worry your silver tired head, she says,
About the voices in the walls - they're but wind.
Lay it all on me as I kiss you
And let you feel me breathe.
I will take you from one place to the next.
I will help you move.

Jack of Hearts
11-03-2011, 07:55 PM
Good to have you back, DocLove.

The culmination of the last two lines seems particularly well done. This reader was just looking at your other thread last week, now buried in the archives... going to bump that one after this response.

There's something funny about the idea of two houses fighting over you. A little self deprecation thrown in for good measure- makes it healthy. Presumably this now house is in Athens as well? Those special moments inside a house are pretty hard to let go of when you move, this reader thinks.

At least you've got your women, Doc. And presumably a bottle of gin.





J

DocHeart
11-04-2011, 04:20 PM
Good to have you back, DocLove.

The culmination of the last two lines seems particularly well done. This reader was just looking at your other thread last week, now buried in the archives... going to bump that one after this response.

There's something funny about the idea of two houses fighting over you. A little self deprecation thrown in for good measure- makes it healthy. Presumably this now house is in Athens as well? Those special moments inside a house are pretty hard to let go of when you move, this reader thinks.

At least you've got your women, Doc. And presumably a bottle of gin.





J



My dear Jack,

So glad you enjoyed. Good to be back and to see you still kicking around. I've got a lot of reading to do once I'm a bit settled in the new place. And yes, it's in Athens, too. Would I leave the city now that the REAL siht is about to hit the fan? :)

I appreciate your feedback, always!

Best,
DH

Delta40
11-04-2011, 05:28 PM
I was initially bothered by the first line where 'next' appears twice but reading on, it seemed more appropriate than ever and it is an original piece Doc. I also like the sense of betrayal as one home is left for the other.

Bar22do
11-04-2011, 08:08 PM
Loved your poem even more because I approach a similar transition and share much of what your poem reflects on... and it's good to read your work again, Doc. Happy Athens to you! Best from Bar