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Mojtaba-Iraqi
11-01-2011, 10:54 AM
#3: Why should we wear shoes?

“Son, never postpone your work, because you will not be able to do it properly; fixing your work is harder than beginning it”. Every day, people used to pray, eat, or sleep; but I used to hear this sentence from my father. It seemed to be reasonable for me, but hard to apply. I believed that nobody can ever do exactly what is required from him, for if people do all the required, so everything would be exactly in its right place, and nobody would ever suffer. An example was stuck to this wisdom, and I imagined it whenever I heard it from my father, that those stupid people who constructed and built my city, why didn’t they furnish the streets and the ground with carpets, leather, or wool? so, we didn’t need to wear shoes, which make horrible smells, or we needed not to buy socks, in which, after a couple of hours, one will find some holes of embarrassment planted, or we did not need to spend weeks of our lives, polishing our worthless shoes, or waste the money of our families' food to buy a pair of mere shoes. According to my father’s wisdom, now, it is too hard to furnish the rush streets; but I needed to do something to work out a solution for the unsolved problem.
One of the friends of mine, whom I guessed to be one of my relatives, as he insistently informed me about that ominous fact, was under my command, as it is the case for other tens of children. For me, I understood no relationships between people, except the strict mono-relationship of a master and his slave. I tried to do something to stimulate people’s minds to observe the problem, and to solve it by furnishing the city. I needed to do something; are you with me or not?” As one does not have the right to question the authority, so it was the same case with me. “Yes, of course I’m with you. I have always been with you.” Then, together, we gathered the shoes of as many houses as we could at night, and drowned them in the sewers.
Believing in the salvation, and the end of people’s sufferings, for they no longer will leave their missions unfinished, and irresponsibly lie down, waiting for others to complete them, I returned home to sleep as a king when return to his castle, who recently executed the outlaws. Beside the bed, alone: “Lord! Look; I’m a good kid. I did what even the old people can’t do. If I was a prophet, no man ever would go to hell. Let these creatures gain wisdom. Let their minds grow wiser. Show them the right way.”
In the next morning, I went out to observe the results of my divine solution, but…! The smell of the sewers was everywhere, and people unshod, confused, and angry, moving from place to place. I told myself: “that’s fine; they should present some sacrifices to gain salvation.” But the fact was further.
Walking in the small alleys, while I was proud of my great achievement, a neighbor suspiciously looked at me, and said: “Son, do you know who did this?” With confidence, I said: “No sir, but one happy thing is that from now on, you don’t need your shoes anymore!”

cafolini
11-01-2011, 01:30 PM
#3: Why should we wear shoes?

“Son, never postpone your work, because you will not be able to do it properly; fixing your work is harder than beginning it”. Every day, people used to pray, eat, or sleep; but I used to hear this sentence from my father. It seemed to be reasonable for me, but hard to apply. I believed that nobody can ever do exactly what is required from him, for if people do all the required, so everything would be exactly in its right place, and nobody would ever suffer. An example was stuck to this wisdom, and I imagined it whenever I heard it from my father, that those stupid people who constructed and built my city, why didn’t they furnish the streets and the ground with carpets, leather, or wool? so, we didn’t need to wear shoes, which make horrible smells, or we needed not to buy socks, in which, after a couple of hours, one will find some holes of embarrassment planted, or we did not need to spend weeks of our lives, polishing our worthless shoes, or waste the money of our families' food to buy a pair of mere shoes. According to my father’s wisdom, now, it is too hard to furnish the rush streets; but I needed to do something to work out a solution for the unsolved problem.
One of the friends of mine, whom I guessed to be one of my relatives, as he insistently informed me about that ominous fact, was under my command, as it is the case for other tens of children. For me, I understood no relationships between people, except the strict mono-relationship of a master and his slave. I tried to do something to stimulate people’s minds to observe the problem, and to solve it by furnishing the city. I needed to do something; are you with me or not?” As one does not have the right to question the authority, so it was the same case with me. “Yes, of course I’m with you. I have always been with you.” Then, together, we gathered the shoes of as many houses as we could at night, and drowned them in the sewers.
Believing in the salvation, and the end of people’s sufferings, for they no longer will leave their missions unfinished, and irresponsibly lie down, waiting for others to complete them, I returned home to sleep as a king when return to his castle, who recently executed the outlaws. Beside the bed, alone: “Lord! Look; I’m a good kid. I did what even the old people can’t do. If I was a prophet, no man ever would go to hell. Let these creatures gain wisdom. Let their minds grow wiser. Show them the right way.”
In the next morning, I went out to observe the results of my divine solution, but…! The smell of the sewers was everywhere, and people unshod, confused, and angry, moving from place to place. I told myself: “that’s fine; they should present some sacrifices to gain salvation.” But the fact was further.
Walking in the small alleys, while I was proud of my great achievement, a neighbor suspiciously looked at me, and said: “Son, do you know who did this?” With confidence, I said: “No sir, but one happy thing is that from now on, you don’t need your shoes anymore!”

Ha! Didtatorship at its innocent best.

Mojtaba-Iraqi
11-02-2011, 09:18 AM
Ha! Didtatorship at its innocent best.

Thank you for commenting; but sir, I am really confused. Is it a positive impression or a negative one?

hillwalker
11-02-2011, 11:43 AM
I don't think it was meant as a negative comment - just a tongue-in-cheek reference to how one person might wish to exert his will on a group of people because he thinks he knows best. In this case it was a child innocently trying to change the world he lives in. On a broader scale, especially in the Middle East, there are individuals who have taken things a step further.

You create an amusing portrait of a curious, precocious child at odds with his parents and his neighbours. I'm sure you were quite a little terror.

h

Mojtaba-Iraqi
11-03-2011, 10:37 AM
Thank u dear Hillwalker..... Of course I was a terror, maybe more than Bin Laden himself;but now, for a boy of 22, many things have changed.

1- Would u inform me the ways, or some tips on how may I develop my style?
2- Which writer is the best to be adopted for the sake of development of style?
3- Which one is of a greater importance? Style or content?

I hope I wont bother u with such childish questions.

hillwalker
11-03-2011, 11:18 AM
1) Your voice is already quite original because you are writing in a second language - by developing a style I assume you mean improving how you express yourself and structure your stories.
The only way is to keep writing and compare your efforts with others on here and with other published writers. Short stories are notoriously difficult to get right because they require a deft touch and economy of words due to the limitations of space.
I would consider your work autobiographical, so again the only way to develop a style is to try other types of writing - fiction, dialogue, reportage - they can all help you sharpen your technique.

2) You have to choose a writer you enjoy reading. It's no good me suggesting Hemingway or Chekhov or Joyce if you find their stories unappetising or impenetrable. Besides, aiming to emulate these 3 is rather over-ambitious. Which published writer do you enjoy reading the most? Concentrate on him/her and look for other writers who write in the same style. Soon you should then be able to pick up the tricks they employ to keep you hooked into their work.

3) Style on its own is not enough to carry a story through in my opinion. Writers often use style to hide behind - what you might call smoke and mirrors. They have nothing to say, but hope that by using flashy words or flambuoyant expressions they can trick the reader into thinking they have read something bewitching. It can often come across as self-indulgent - showing off.
Content on its own - without style or even an attempt at being readable - can be just as unrewarding to read. It ends up tasting like a junk-food meal. And unfortunately there are lots of very badly written novels in the shops, churned out by million-selling authors who rely on predictable plots and nothing else. James Patterson is probably the most successful writer who follows this depressing pattern.
The best combination is a genuine or original story written with a touch of lyricism or humour,

And the most important advice of all - keep reading until it's as much a part of your life as breathing.

H

Mojtaba-Iraqi
11-03-2011, 01:18 PM
I've read your last comment several times...This is exactly what I need to know, and of course, some other points....thank u

And unfortunately there are lots of very badly written novels in the shops, churned out by million-selling authors who rely on predictable plots and nothing else. this is a nice one. This was one of the questions stuck to my mind.
So, you mean that there are no clear rules to be followed for the sake of improving someone's writing...
Thank u

hillwalker
11-04-2011, 07:40 AM
Rules are made to be broken. Yes.

The only way your writing will improve is to read as much as you can and try to write something every day (even if you only spend 10 minutes scribbling down your immediate thoughts).
It is also helpful to meet other writers in the same position as you and perhaps read each other's work before sharing your thoughts.

H

Mojtaba-Iraqi
11-05-2011, 09:40 AM
One more question. Do u suggest that I abandon writing autobiographical texts (as u described them) for their not being as helpful as writing fiction?

By the way, English is not my second language; it's my fourth and favorite one.

hillwalker
11-05-2011, 10:44 AM
No - why should you abandon writing stories about your childhood?
But given that you are only 22 years old (if I read one of your previous comments correctly) you are still a little too close to the memories of the events you write about.
Writing about one's childhood is often more rewarding when you have the hindsight of age and can relate the importance of each episode in your personal development.

Writing fiction gives you the freedom to explore characterisation and plot development - which is not really necessary when telling an anecdote. And, of course, you can still begin with a childhood memory and extend it into a fictionalised account.

As for English being your 4th language - you put me in awe of your fluency.

H

Mojtaba-Iraqi
11-05-2011, 11:51 AM
Nice points, and of course you are right. Thank you