Escape

[Lyn05]

Close your eyes and count to three
Now take my hand and jump.
We’ll dance across the lily pads,
Counting as we go.
We’ll watch rainbows form on stormy days
And pick apples from the lemon trees.
Taste dew drops from the biggest leaf,
And watch the dandelions take flight.
And we’ll run, run
As fast as we can,
Till the wind carries us up into the air.
And below us, the sparkling sapphire sea beckons…

[hillwalker]

I've no idea why, but I really liked this one. It begins like a children's nursery rhyme but there's more to it than meets the eye. It has a certain rhythm that makes the reader want to join in the fun.

H

[free]

I like this poem because it is full of happiness and pictures of nature in its brightest colours. It also shows connectedness with the nature in a profound way.

[DieterM]

I agree with hill and free, there's something in the poem that touches me, too. Maybe it's the autumn outside, and your poem bringing a sort of already longed-for, magical spring into my office? Or the vision of a couple running through high grass in pure happiness and bliss, eyes closed, starting a merry voyage that lifts them up into thin air and out of reality? Maybe it's its simplicity (something very difficult to achieve in poetry), which expresses purity for me... Very well done, your poem put at least ten good minutes (the time to read, the time to read again, the time to close my eyes and enjoy your words) into my dreary working day... :-))

[blank|verse]

Yes, I agree with the others, there's a winning rhythmic pulse to this one, and it's a shame you didn't take it further and write it all in ballad form (although good luck finding an unobtrusive rhyme for 'jump'!). The middle section falls a bit flat, and for me, the poem feels like it wants to end with the penultimate line; but the rhythm of 'run, run' is compelling.

And the reference to the 'apples from the lemon tree' reminds me of Don Paterson's 'Two Trees' (http://www.donpaterson.com/) (keep refreshing the page if it doesn't appear first time!).

[cafolini]

Excellent and appropriate use of fantasy. Loved this poem.

[Lyn05]

Thank you for your comments! I feel undeserving of such praise but I'm glad you all enjoyed it.

[tailor STATELY]

Delightful.

Thank you for sharing.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY