Response Essay to Sam Keen's "Faces of the Enemy"

[gummybear9]

Hi,
I'm writing a response essay to "Faces of the Enemy", an essay where the author says that wars occur not only because of aggressors but because humans tend to "create" enemies through the portrayal of the enemy as monsters and demons in war propaganda. Humans dehumanize the enemy to justify the inhumanity of war.

The sentences leading to my thesis, in response to the essay, is "Sam Keen’s essay, “Faces of the Enemy”, although detailed and logically organized when reasoning our justification of war through the dehumanization of our enemies, it seems to be missing a critical point that might be the true source to our timeless problem of conflict and war: Keen is omitting the fact of how exactly the process of self-deception comes about in human minds, leading us to the demoralization of others, the process in which we assure ourselves that ‘we’ are superior to ‘them.'"
However, I have a problem with the thesis, the last sentence in the paragraph. Is there any way to reword it so it doesn't sound like a question?

[hillwalker]

Something along the lines of -

"Sam Keen’s essay, “Faces of the Enemy”, although detailed and logically organized when reasoning our justification of war through the dehumanization of our enemies, [it] seems to be missing a critical point that might be the true source to our timeless problem of conflict and war: Keen fails adequately to explore the process of how self-deception comes about in human minds, leading us to the demoralization of others. He does not address the process by which we assure ourselves that ‘we’ are superior to ‘them.'"

H