Classroom Warfare

[Invizibal]

I got bored. :smilewinkgrin:

SCHOOL WARS: PART ONE
10:51
Latin
Period 3

"Passive verbs? Anyone? Anyone?"
Mr. Samson might well have been talking to phantoms.
All of us were either too tired to talk, wishing we hadn't stayed up so late, or just bored out of our mind. Latin was a dead language, but it was now killing us.
Someone told a joke. Someone laughed. The day went on.
The phone rang.
But when Mr. Samson answered the phone, he had a look of horror on his face.
"Code Red? Code RED?!?!?"
Code red meant an escaped student. In a code red situation, all teachers were required to leave the room and search for the missing kid until he was found. Sure enough, Mr. Samson ran swiftly out the door.
Soon we had all left our desks and were talking. I grouped with my friends. Mike, the 2-time defending class clown, Bill, an overall good kid, and Josh, who was a prankster.
We talked for a while before something whizzed by my head. I dismissed it.
Again something went by my head. I turned around to see one of the class bullies pointing and laughing. I tuned back in to our conversation.
Soon, a pencil hit Josh in the head. This was serious.
Before any of us could stop him he had whipped out a paper hornet and a rubber band. A paper hornet is a v-shaped piece of paper that has been folded. It is shot like a slingshot from a rubber band. If made properly, and shot properly, it can leave a welt or make you bleed. They hurt a lot and can be accurate up to 30 feet.
Upon sight of the hornet in Josh's hand, the whole class hit the deck. They pulled out binders as shields and hid under desks.
You see, the reason for this dramatic reaction was that there had been an ongoing hornet war at school for the past year and a half. Almost everyone had gotten involved, with alliances popping up left and right. There were even gangs of kids who wandered around shooting people with the hornets. I was in one alliance, along with my friends. The bullies were in another.
He let fly with the hornet. It clipped the bully's ear.
They charged, pencils high.
The air was soon filled with projectiles. A nerd smiled as his ninja throwing pencil connected with its target.
The kids emerged from the desks, siding with one side or the other. Out of nowhere, 5 bullies pinned Bill to the wall.
A much worse version of the hornet, a viper, which was essentially a v-shaped bent paperclip that could maim a victim if hit in the right spot, flashed inches in front of my face. When I thought that I was a target of a near-dangerous hit, I saw it connect with one of the bullies, freeing Bill and sending the others scattering.
I looked back to see Mike lowering his rubber band. He nodded.
I got back to the fight. The classroom looked like a battlefield now, which wasn't too far removed from what it actually was. Ink was on the walls. A viper had somehow embedded itself in Mr. Samson's computer.
I ran, hornet in hand. I shot 4 bullies out of the way.
Mike dove in front of me, narrowly avoiding a barrage of staples. One of the bullies had a stapler with a jammed safety that would shoot 40 feet like a gun.
He was able to avoid the staples, but took a hornet to the face.
"RETREEEEEEATTT!!!!!"
One of the other kids held open the door to a neighboring classroom. We all piled in, but before the bullies could follow, the door was slammed shut and a bunch of big, strong kids held it shut. Nobody was getting through.
There was a collective gasp as some kids saw some invention of some kind.

Some of the creative kids had created a land mine or hornet claymore.

There were 2 desks, and in between the left leg of one and the right leg of the other was a big, stretchy rubber band, the kind from a trash barrel that holds the bag in. It held a viper and was pulled back. A broken rubber band was tied to the back, right next to the hornet. It wrapped around the leg of the desk, and was pinned to the ground 10 feet in front of the viper by a math textbook. If the book was moved, the band would be set free, letting go of the viper and launching it. If a bully touched the book he would get hit.

I then realized that there was not one, but 5 different "mines" across the room.

The big kids moved from the door and ran away, waiting for the bullies. We all loaded our weapons.
The bullies came pouring in, clumsily.
It was if they had wandered into hive of bees. They screamed and danced like they had ingested fire ants. They fled back into the other room, and we charged. We screamed, and hit them with a barrage of hornets, vipers, pencils, erasers, and even a pencil sharpener.
Until we looked up.

Mr. Samson and the principal, who was steaming with rage, looked at us with contempt.

"Detentions, anyone?"

TO BE CONTINUED

[hillwalker]

Mhmm...

My curiosity was tweaked when the teacher left the classroom to attend to an escaped student - imagining a story set inside a school where the students were perhaps being held captive. Some government institution catering for child prodigies perhaps, or teenaged toublemakers, where they are being held against their wishes?

But then it got a little hard to follow. Reading paragraph after paragraph describing children attacking each other with pens, erasers and pieces of folded paper doesn't really grab the attention. And I can't begin to imagine how a 'hornet claymore' is supposed to work in practice.

Soon, a pencil hit Josh in the head. This was serious. - err, no. Not in my experience.

Nor was I particularly convinced by the teacher saying 'Code Red' out loud - his dialogue seemed to fit inside a Computer War Game or some action-packed movie rather than a normal schoolroom.

And those moments where you suddenly interrupt to tell the reader what a 'paper hornet' is - then later tell us about the 'ongoing hornet war' - tend to distract from the build-up of the story because you (the writer) are disrupting the plot to expose background information that you believe we need to know for the story to make sense. There are more subtle ways of doing this...

To be continued... suggests there's more to follow. It might be an idea to explore where the plot is leading. If it's going to be a phoney gang war using the contents of someone's pencil case then it's not going to grip the reader for much longer. Try using a little more imaginative thinking... you'll probably have just as much fun.

H

[Delta40]

I agree with Hillwalkers review. However, I felt you did capture the timeless behaviour of children when a teacher leaves the classroom so hang on that.

[cafolini]

Mhmm...

My curiosity was tweaked when the teacher left the classroom to attend to an escaped student - imagining a story set inside a school where the students were perhaps being held captive. Some government institution catering for child prodigies perhaps, or teenaged toublemakers, where they are being held against their wishes?

But then it got a little hard to follow. Reading paragraph after paragraph describing children attacking each other with pens, erasers and pieces of folded paper doesn't really grab the attention. And I can't begin to imagine how a 'hornet claymore' is supposed to work in practice.

Soon, a pencil hit Josh in the head. This was serious. - err, no. Not in my experience.

Nor was I particularly convinced by the teacher saying 'Code Red' out loud - his dialogue seemed to fit inside a Computer War Game or some action-packed movie rather than a normal schoolroom.

And those moments where you suddenly interrupt to tell the reader what a 'paper hornet' is - then later tell us about the 'ongoing hornet war' - tend to distract from the build-up of the story because you (the writer) are disrupting the plot to expose background information that you believe we need to know for the story to make sense. There are more subtle ways of doing this...

To be continued... suggests there's more to follow. It might be an idea to explore where the plot is leading. If it's going to be a phoney gang war using the contents of someone's pencil case then it's not going to grip the reader for much longer. Try using a little more imaginative thinking... you'll probably have just as much fun.

H

This is a highly dramatized and exaggerated piece. The truth is that these things happen but never to this extent. It's a funny piece projected into exaggeratio, but founded on possibilities at any given time. Such wars have occurred however seldom when there are people hurt in the confronting gangs and if there are heroes hurt it could happen. The little pricking tools are usually not inflicting serious damage, but if a fast viper hits one in the eye, it could empty a socket.
It's a good story about the need for preventive mental medicine in a wonderfully mad and marvellous world. :idea:

I expect the next episode will have Mr. Samson stuck to his chair with Gorilla Glue and a little soda to accelerate the process. And then he'll be destined to target practice.