View Full Version : Money matters but not for long
mazHur
09-30-2011, 04:53 PM
As I earn more money
I think my wealth grows
desires unfulfilled
get done in rows
life changes.....
world seems renewed
all the hard bark on life’s tree
seems finely chewed.
The spring of life
passes in the gold hunt
as age dawns on me
I begin to feel the brunt
Appetite gone
Libido reduced
youth and beauty
to make-up induced
dwindling health
Increased medical bills
money caters for them all
I live but on pills.
phobic anxiety
heart dissatisfied
everything seems to be
depression-tied.
To a lone place
for a simpler life
In search of love & peace
never ends my strife.
Money matters
but not for long
All that's left behind
is Humpty Dumpty, Ding Dong.
Time does always seeth
the end of one and all
low or high,no matter what
on a day shall rise and fall.
Your poem sounds interesting but you too suffers the same kind of dullness mine does.
It is kind of homely, the usual, the stereotype.
With that said however I cannot say exactly how poetry is to be written since I am too poor at it.
You write far better than I do and despite my criticism. I have read some of your poems and they are moving, some generally standards notwithstanding.
mazHur
10-03-2011, 04:54 PM
Your poem sounds interesting but you too suffers the same kind of dullness mine does.
It is kind of homely, the usual, the stereotype.
With that said however I cannot say exactly how poetry is to be written since I am too poor at it.
You write far better than I do and despite my criticism. I have read some of your poems and they are moving, some generally standards notwithstanding.
Thanks for your comments and reading my other works,
poetry actually is the expression of your feelings and that might take any shape, any time, any where. Often there is overlapping of the same feeling or thought by poets and the same thing is said time and again with how the poet feels it. Nothing is new in this world. One only has to find the 'hidden' secrets .......and in that pursuit sometimes people come up with newer things from old stuff or old stuff packed in new wrappers. This may not be necessarily deliberate but it does happen!
The idea in the poem may not be new but it doesn't bother one at a certain age. However, it does at yet another age or time.....experience, I think.
If you or someone else can post a similar poem or poems on the same theme I would love to read them and thank them all!
:)
Thanks for your comments and reading my other works,
poetry actually is the expression of your feelings and that might take any shape, any time, any where. Often there is overlapping of the same feeling or thought by poets and the same thing is said time and again with how the poet feels it. Nothing is new in this world. One only has to find the 'hidden' secrets .......and in that pursuit sometimes people come up with newer things from old stuff or old stuff packed in new wrappers. This may not be necessarily deliberate but it does happen!
The idea in the poem may not be new but it doesn't bother one at a certain age. However, it does at yet another age or time.....experience, I think.
If you or someone else can post a similar poem or poems on the same theme I would love to read them and thank them all!
:)
Beautifully said. I too agree with you unreservedly. This is the pursuit I am too in. There are some others 'learned' 'scholarly' commentators. I personally second your ideas of poetry I listen a bit to the rest for poetry while writing for self contentment is written for others to enjoy too and that is why we are driven to publish it I care to others' attentions too and that is wherein I may differ a tad from you.
mazHur
10-04-2011, 08:23 AM
Beautifully said. I too agree with you unreservedly. This is the pursuit I am too in. There are some others 'learned' 'scholarly' commentators. I personally second your ideas of poetry I listen a bit to the rest for poetry while writing for self contentment is written for others to enjoy too and that is why we are driven to publish it I care to others' attentions too and that is wherein I may differ a tad from you.
I appreciate and thank you for your outlook in the matter.
English not being my first language and having had no chance to live among the folks in English speaking countries ( and moreso because of having spent much time in the company of non- or poor English speaking Japanese friends!), what happened that I seem to have lost my grip on the English vernacular but after trying hard to say what I wanted to ( often so imperfectly though), I think I am trying to do the best I can in expressing my 'imagination' in versified form. Many may not like it for several reasons such as linguistic skills or culturally different theme but here it is there....one must keep on trying and improving and must not take words of 'commentators' as the last ones or as impediment to retarding one's efforts, however subtle or
crude they may be because there is a ''buyer' for everything. One may not like some thing but someone else may!! This also applies to ''masters' of literature and everybody has his/her own preferences for writers!!
So, the best way is to keep going without being distracted or disheartened by hard critique!:)
I appreciate and thank you for your outlook in the matter.
English not being my first language and having had no chance to live among the folks in English speaking countries ( and moreso because of having spent much time in the company of non- or poor English speaking Japanese friends!), what happened that I seem to have lost my grip on the English vernacular but after trying hard to say what I wanted to ( often so imperfectly though), I think I am trying to do the best I can in expressing my 'imagination' in versified form. Many may not like it for several reasons such as linguistic skills or culturally different theme but here it is there....one must keep on trying and improving and must not take words of 'commentators' as the last ones or as impediment to retarding one's efforts, however subtle or
crude they may be because there is a ''buyer' for everything. One may not like some thing but someone else may!! This also applies to ''masters' of literature and everybody has his/her own preferences for writers!!
So, the best way is to keep going without being distracted or disheartened by hard critique!:)
Mazhur, Never worry about the fact that you are a nonnative speaker. All we are doing here is not showing off. We are communicating to each other through poems, stories, essays or through any other forms of art. Poetry is a variant among many. Poetry unlike the rest of forms is somewhat different and we can even having mastery over English communicate thorough poems.
You to this end is a good poet and the number of poems written over many themes and subjects make you a good poet. I do not care if there are purists or those so called grammarians. To hell with them and all we need is getting ourselves to communicate across many.
I always find you a writer well read and I find a variety of experiences in your writings. You are moving me.
Keep on posting more and more poems and you have a great number of readers and I am one of them enjoying them. That is why I wrote comments.
mazHur
10-04-2011, 05:03 PM
Mazhur, Never worry about the fact that you are a nonnative speaker. All we are doing here is not showing off. We are communicating to each other through poems, stories, essays or through any other forms of art. Poetry is a variant among many. Poetry unlike the rest of forms is somewhat different and we can even having mastery over English communicate thorough poems.
You to this end is a good poet and the number of poems written over many themes and subjects make you a good poet. I do not care if there are purists or those so called grammarians. To hell with them and all we need is getting ourselves to communicate across many.
I always find you a writer well read and I find a variety of experiences in your writings. You are moving me.
Keep on posting more and more poems and you have a great number of readers and I am one of them enjoying them. That is why I wrote comments.
I am grateful for your encouraging words which are more than a valuable compliment for me and will surely help me do better.
Delta40
10-04-2011, 05:19 PM
I agree with osho and readers should enjoy the unique voice of a ESL writer.
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