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caddy_caddy
09-28-2011, 03:40 PM
A man full of life,
And a woman full of death,
Nothing else, nothing else.
Who needs someone like her,
Who needs a curse?

"Life is a comedy for those who think... and a tragedy for those who feel."*
At this moment, what do you think am I liberating:
your shining swords or my childish words?
Please, don't think I'm exaggerating.
Just "Think" and remember Aristotle's saying.

I can always feel you, yes indeed.
I fact, I forgive each cruel deed.
You did to me and you will do.
I know it's foolish to say that,
But it's true.

As you know, death transmits as infection
And since I have too much affection
I'm afraid you will get infected by "Me."
Don't worry I can protect you from myself;
Just wait and see.

I promise I will do my best,
to leave voluntarily your tender nest.
No need to kick me out;
No need to utter " Go To Hell " and shout.
I can hear you though we are apart.


I will find a way to beg you pardon,
For I am self-centered,
And you are the center of my circle.
For your sake, I can learn how to abandon,
My self, my center--your little miracle.

From now on no place for damned thoughts--rather illusions
No certain feelings--rather confusions.
No haunted memory by "Look at My Eyes."
No real imaginings of a woman, a female--simply a human being
Being once cultivated in your skies.

Now let me "Think" to forget, yes forget.
That glorious face when pouring with grace,
Those motherless palpitations not to leave in disgrace,
Those enchanting Jasmines buried in your skin.
I can feel you, that's my greatest sin.


With time you won't hear weeping giggles, silent cries,
Soundless voices, footless steps on your ground.
You won't hear a ring that can't make a sound.
The Shadow won't wear a face and put a skin on,
Never pretends to be a sun, never to say " I am here. I won."

Now, I feel the first time I saw a palm tree;
It was standing with its back to me,
Taking the lift of my soul toward another day;
A charming " Back", promising to be next all the way;
I knew my beloved wold keep its promise and never to betray...

* Aristotle

Delta40
09-28-2011, 05:44 PM
I like the potential of this but I am confident you can say more with less somehow - although I am poor at pointing out how you can do this. It's a big ask to tell the N to edit! I don't think rhyme does this piece justice either and I felt it was apparent the poem was being steered by rhyme more than what you needed to say. I do however enjoy reading your posts CC.