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DieterM
09-27-2011, 03:24 AM
Young man on the bus,
baggy jeans loosely stuffed into soft black boots,
sleeveless ample t-shirt baring a hairless chest,
a heavy chain dangling from his neck,
head shaved and hidden under a hand-knitted black bonnet.
Like a glossy ad from a youth magazine,
perfect with pout and arrogant stare.

I recognize myself,
in my younger years of course.
Those times when I used to wear
tight red tartan trousers from Camden Market,
sky-blue Doc Martens bought in Covent Garden
an unlikely Mozart shirt with ruffles
from a Viennese underground shop.

When Björk was new and brilliant,
and I'd move in hip crowds
to Massive Attack and Stereo MCs
and House hits with the word "love" in them.
When I displayed the same oblivious attitude,
exactly the same aura of know-it-all,
the same smell of youthful pride
and natural poise.

And on the bus, I smile and think,
young man, you too will get over it
when you grow older:
the attitude, the stance, the outfit.
Quite ironic, though, on second thought:
with each new experience,
you lose some self-assurance;
and the more money you earn,
the less is left for fancy clothes.

Delta40
09-27-2011, 03:39 AM
lose not loose (I notice more and more people spell this incorrectly!)

Otherwise an interesting insight into youth and age. I thought the first stanza was a little prosey than the rest but I still enjoyed the journey and especially the tartan jeans, ruffled shirt and blue Doc Martens!

Hawkman
09-27-2011, 03:40 AM
Dieter, this is an accomplished piece of work, observational and reflective. Not much wrong with it at all. I do think "in Covent Garden" rather than off though, and in the last stanza "when you grow older:" as you've already said will in the previous line.

I'm not quite sure what you mean here, "and House hits with the word "love" in it." Are you referring to albums or specific tracks? either way, as you are apparently refering to multiple items then "...in them." would be better. So not much for me to pick at :) It's really good.

Live and be well - H

DieterM
09-27-2011, 04:53 AM
thanks Hawkman and Delta40; I corrected the wrong spelling of course (my mind tuned in to the "loosely" from stanza n°1, I guess) and the minor changes you suggested seemed perfect to me (of course, there were many House hits with the word "love" in them, so it had to be "them" – Show Me Love, Deeper Love, and so on). But I'm overall glad you enjoyed the poem :-))