Humours

[Hawkman]

Who says I have no sense of humour?
Mine is melancholy today, with perhaps
a touch of phlegm from smoker’s cough,
which, like the poor, is ever present
and even though I wish they’d go away,
both, it seems, are here to stay.

I wish my mind could find a little balance.
Hot and dry, the sanguine tint would suit me well
and I could happily endure it for a spell.
But temperamentally I seem to fail
because my psyche is too frail
and cholera’s an ailment I can do without.

So, today I’m cool and moist,
much like the mist which hides the moors,
I can’t see them through its gauze,
and blinded by the ataractic veil
of dismal foggy cataracts,
my mood exudes its dampness.

[blank|verse]

Yes, very, um, humorous, Hawk, with references to the four temperaments nicely interwoven. (Tell me if I'm going to wear out the comma button. :))

I wasn't sure the phrase 'where I can't see them' works that smoothly, but I enjoyed the 'ataractic - cataracts' internal word-play, and the rest works very well. I hope the poet gets some enjoyment from his skill with words.

[Hawkman]

Many thanks for reading b/v. I agree that the line you cited as dubious could be improved. This stanza gave me some problems when writing, and, though it made sense as initially posted, I was never happy with it. I have wielded the knife and made a couple of excisions and given it a tweak. I think it's better now. I too seem to have a surfeit of commas... ;)

Live and be well - H

[Haunted]

I kinda expected 4 stanzas, also the ailments distress me a bit, probably because it's so well done, I identify with the persona. The last stanza is impressive, you can really see the beauty in blindness.

[Hawkman]

Oh dear Haunted, I'm sorry if my tongue-in-cheek wordplay distressed you with its punning references to ghastly afflictions. However, I'm immensely grateful that you read this piece and graced it with a note. We all find beauty where we can. I'm sure you won't have to look too far afield! ;)

Live and be well - H

[Haunted]

Hawk, how could I have missed the tongue-in-cheek wordplay?! I should have gotten the "humorous" side of the poem. The poem is so lucid with the various serious illnesses, I took it for real — and more power to your writing!

[Delta40]

Very nice work, particularly the last stanza and a great way to depict humours or predispositions in Ye Olde UK

[Hawkman]

Haunted: fear not, for I am not yet quite so afflicted, even if my eyesight isn't quite as sharp as once it was :D Thus reassured, I'm happy that you are now more able to enjoy the poem - lol.

Delta: G'day and thanks for reading and appreciating :)

Live and be well - H