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peter7805
09-19-2011, 08:26 PM
We

The hands that once held death ,now hold up the roses
The moon, she passed the light of tears on the knives
Oh, it is love
Let us use up our strength

The white eyes are in the familiar fleshes
We are trying to push the mythical world down
The eternity? On those countless opposite nights
In making love ,we have translated the poetry of time

The hard and abstruse breath of the land
Makes the throat of the world spit out the white coldness
And snow uses her soft tongue to carve the patterns on the stones
Steeping an incident: the menarche of a story

dyne7
09-20-2011, 08:20 PM
great word usages and buildup towards the end of your piece. appropriate use of the senses, just enough too, like the balance between the tangible and ambiguous. great work

dyne