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[Delta40]

She ran her tongue across furry teeth
and thought, one day I will brush them.
Her arms ached and she couldn't find a vein
Somebody, maybe her Mum had wept and pleaded with her,
begging her to stop.
Her nose was running again and she wiped
it with the back of her hand.
No tissues, no pads, no food.
Just a hot shot that would take her away.
She was always trying to escape.
Who was it that asked her what she was fleeing from?
It didn't matter to the girl with lifeless sunken eyes.
Between phlegm filled coughing she'd sing,
The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind,
deluded that she could wave a magic wand and make it allright.
The weeping pock marks on her face already told a story
of cheap and nasty living but she seldom noticed.
People could see she was as attractive as a mangy alley cat
that stunk from the garbage lifestyle she lived in.
She held the torniquet between her yellow teeth
but her hands trembled too much and she missed.
The sharp cramps in her gut filled her empty shell with fear.
I'm gonna die if this doesn't happen soon.
Some guy smiled and said he loved her enough to help her
What a shame she had forgotten his name.
There was a sharp prick between her toes and she sighed,
her spidery fingers grasped the tatty armchair
as she prepared to take off to La La land.
In the distance she heard his voice echo,
It's ok baby. I'll join you in a minute.
She drifted off to Hawaiin music and bright flashing colours.
As she reached cruising height she murmured,
Make sure you got a lifeboat when I crash.

[MystyrMystyry]

Another challenging and sad one Delta.

I respect you for taking it on - but SO downbeat (especially the Dylan refrain)

I guess we could say at least we're not in that position - but I've met these zombies, and they are really the most incredibly nothing people (which is why it's so easy to forget about them). Perhaps they were just too sensitive and trusting in their formative years? there's the argument that something devastating had happened to them - but not in my experience.

You've got me thinking about junkie poems now - are there any/many?

[PrinceMyshkin]

Like so many of your recent poems, this is astonishing in its reach and its non-judgmental association with your subject. You made me want to reach out to the subject and exclaim: Listen! There's got to be some other way...

Brava!

[Bar22do]

This leaves me feeling so powerless, Delta, but also overwhelmed by its rich language, references and overall beauty! You're quite a poet, so sensitive to human suffering. And, as Prince mentioned, generously non judgmental. Bravo.

[Delta40]

Thanks everyone. I know its a bit prosey and I don't know any junkie poems MM but I imagine your take on it would be the most fascinating read!

[Sampson]

Considering the brutal realities of this particular subject matter, I think you crafted a very 'true' poem. It doesn't glamorize or demonize addiction. Very well tackled. I have a lot of respect for this piece.

[Hawkman]

This is a powerful piece, Delta, but you're rigth that it does read a little bit prosy in places. You can easily fix this with a judicious tweak here and there though.

You need a full stop at the end of line 3 and a comma after mum in L4 and I think you could tighten the line by dropping "with her" from the end of the line. I'd put a line break after wept and make line 6: "pleaded, begging her to stop."
Change the full stop to a comma at the end of lines 7 & 8.
Line 12 I'd change the order of the words to "...sunken lifeless eyes."
Line13 as written, isn't quite right, You could say, "Between phlegm-filled coughs" or "Between bouts of phlegm-filled coughing" (which is my favoured choice) and a colon at the end of the line rather than a comma, I think.

Line 15 would be better ending with "...make it right." which would improve the rhythm.

I have a suggestion for the next few lines below:

"The weeping pock marks on her face
told a story of cheap and nasty living
but she seldom noticed. But people saw
she was as attractive as a mangy cat
stinking of her lifestyle's garbage."

I think I'd leave the rest of it alone :) It's a very good poem, though. Nice one Delta.

Live and be well - H