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Delta40
09-14-2011, 05:44 PM
Between weekend visits to the grocers
and babbling rubbish to old ladies,
the psychiatrist lets you
play the piano in the ward.
Government issue, it reminds me
that nobody is grander than another.

All through the evening you play
the way you feel in the moment.
Surrounded by screaming souls,
your music appeases their torment
until the final note.

My brother says you are gifted
while your mother rocks back and forth,
No, he is just very special.
You laugh at us and play
as if you are a constant lucid episode.

I cannot bear to watch
how you slip into another existence.
Our eyes meet like strangers
during your performance of This is Me in D flat.
The pain of not knowing you is too much.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night
I can hear your presence
between mewling tomcats
and lonely howling dogs
I smell you on the sheets and wonder
Who am I?

Haunted
09-14-2011, 09:45 PM
This is so moving, so heartbreaking. Losing the person you married to mental illness where he doesn't know who you are anymore, changes you just as much to the point where you lost your own identity as his wife. The last stanza is particularly poignant.

YesNo
09-15-2011, 09:45 AM
I enjoyed the poem. I liked the last line of the first stanza best: "nobody is grander than another".

Delta40
09-15-2011, 05:19 PM
Ever get the feeling that you're losing your oomph in writing? This is what is happening to me at the moment. I'm sure its temporary but I hate it all the same!

Thanks both for your kind comments.

MystyrMystyry
09-15-2011, 06:29 PM
I don't mind this - the piano playing is a good touch (I thought the 'G.I.' was a strange effect, evoking all grey brown tones and a random hammering of unmusical keys)

This displays a fairly gentle touch. Remember not all poems have to feature soaring mindblowing metaphors. Some of the best don't have any.

If you're serious, the cure to the oomph-hang is the good old stroll around the neighborhood, the fresh air filling your lungs, the seeing how others are coping, the sight and sound of early birds in the trees, and the little smiling hellos to remind you of the occasional need for communication - and of course a notebook.

If you hadn't said that you weren't satisfied with this I wouldn't have guessed - it seems quite thoughtful and considered. Razzle Dazzle is best when the subject matter requires it, sometimes its the wrong approach.

This is a fine effort Delta