Twilight walk

[Clay MacDonnell]

Dangerous twilight, riddled with bad omens and shifting shadows.
A blood moon hangs in the sky like an aged impotent sun, a gesture to Armageddon.
I block out the ethereal nightmare and count the cracks in the pavement
hoping to ease the Darwinian impulses within my chest,
Soon I'm home- soon I'm home.

The sudden steady footsteps of a passer-by contradicts the stillness and echoes the fear,
I see it in his face too, the fear.
For a moment it smothers us both in it's vile embrace,
Soon we're home- soon we're home.

[Hawkman]

I think this is worthy of note. I might advise dividing those rather long lines with line breaks and in L2 dropping one of the ajectives. Either aged or impotent, but not both I feel.

In S2 I don't think you need the repetition of 'the fear' but these are fairly minor considerations. An interesting read.

[Delta40]

I enjoyed this very much and agree with Hawks suggestions. I think fear repeated in S2 is a little bumpy and could be replaced with another word.