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the facade
09-12-2011, 03:31 PM
Haven't had much time to drop in recently, but here's a poem.

Stealing Time (Pockets II)

There,
an inkling
tear in time's
blue fabric;
widening and widening
into a smile.

I steal
those laughs
from a borrowed afternoon
and pocket them in pores.

Those laughs
will be tugged at
by time's merciless messengers
until they finally
strip us of our clothes
altogether.

Then only those laughs
will remain,
that were stolen
by others
who shared our laughing
pockets,
for a little while.

ucello
09-12-2011, 04:09 PM
very moving, love it very much. it should be share not shares in line 3 from the bottom. nice.

the facade
09-12-2011, 04:25 PM
Thank you ucello, I'm happy that you were moved.

And the mistake has been corrected :)

Delta40
09-12-2011, 05:17 PM
I especially like S2. Nice imagination.

Buh4Bee
09-12-2011, 08:58 PM
how very clever! Much enjoyed, I am tripping off to bed smiling.

Hawkman
09-13-2011, 03:49 AM
A delightfully simple little poem this and I like it a lot. The isw a tiny problem with the way the word inkling has been used. an inkling is an impression or an intimation of something. So one might have an inkling of somehing, but the way this line is worded you have used it as a modifier for the tear.

This can be corrected by saying, "an inkling of a tear".

anyway, an enjoyable read.

Live and be well - H

Bar22do
09-13-2011, 07:14 AM
you caught my morning unprepared, but certainly added to my laughing pocket! thanks you.

the facade
09-15-2011, 09:26 AM
Delta, Jersea, Hawkman, Bar - thank you for your comments and I'm happy you enjoyed it!