The ceremony: Commemorating Sep 11

[osho]

We are too busy to celebrate the anniversary of the disaster;
Indeed we must since we empathize with the departed;
And all of us have to part with something.

Many died; some in Iraq and others in Afghanistan
Let their souls rest at peace
They are still faking alive in Somalia and in others
We have no words of commemoration for them

We are walled by our bigotry
We still duplicitously talk about oneness and civilization
We are dancing in the dark with shining blades

I am troubled; the world is worsening
Their eyes have not dried up in Iraq
Once they wake up to the truth
We will live endangered lives.

Let us spend sparingly and speak parsimoniously celebrating the event
For somewhere on the horizon the wound is too deep
The pain is more intense
Blinkered how long can you stick with it?

Our sense of harmony and coexistence is under threats
By promulgators of state-run dogmas
We could live hordes of deer where there is no fear inside the horde.

Man has to wrestle with man more fiercely than ever before
We rose above and beyond animalism but to fall beneath them in our day

Our civilization-Americanism, Europeanism - is a warring force
We can keep the departed at peace only if we can heal the wounded today

[Buh4Bee]

You might have more luck writing an essay than a poem about the topic. It is too much like of a narrative and less like a poem. I think you make some decent points. I think most people are probably sick of hearing about 9/11. I know I am. But thanks for posting.

[AsianGuy1137]

I have to say this poem is interesting even if controversial to many. I can relate to some of the finer points covered. I've always found it ironic how people can make such elaborate commemorations of such tragedies when similar tragedies and many far worse ones plague much of the rest of the world. Genocides in Darfur and civil wars in the Middle East, poverty, famine, disease and warfare in many other undeveloped countries. People struggling to survive in Eastern Asian countries in the aftermath of tsunamis and earthquakes. Growing economic disparity between classes and growing class tensions. Government corruption and incompetence (not referring to any specific ones) and partisan divisions. Economic competition between the current first world countries and the rapidly developing and industrializing second world countries such as China, India, and even Brazil that might be detrimental to the GDP and cause many people to lose their jobs, etc... But of course, football and popular entertainment takes precedence over such trivial matters.

And to the above comment, although it might not seem like a conventional poem, I've always detested how other people try to 'classify' what the elements which constitute poetry are. Poetry should just be a reflection of your emotions and thoughts, and if you believe in it deeply, who the hell has the right to tell you that it isn't poetry because it doesn't conform to their standards or definitions?

[hillwalker]

And to the above comment, although it might not seem like a conventional poem, I've always detested how other people try to 'classify' what the elements which constitute poetry are. Poetry should just be a reflection of your emotions and thoughts, and if you believe in it deeply, who the hell has the right to tell you that it isn't poetry because it doesn't conform to their standards or definitions?

You might 'detest' people who make comments on whether a piece constitutes poetry or prose - but there's no getting away from the fact that stringing words or thoughts together in separate lines like the writer has done here isn't enough to make his efforts poetry.

Detest as much as you like but poetry and prose are generally considered to be two separate forms of writing, differentiated by style as much as content, each with their own history of excellence. One is neither better or worse than the other - but both should be allowed to stand separately.

H

[Delta40]

I agree with Hill and Jersea. There is no doubt about the passion and strong feelings in this piece and it would go the distance much better as an article or essay.

[AsianGuy1137]

You might 'detest' people who make comments on whether a piece constitutes poetry or prose - but there's no getting away from the fact that stringing words or thoughts together in separate lines like the writer has done here isn't enough to make his efforts poetry.

Detest as much as you like but poetry and prose are generally considered to be two separate forms of writing, differentiated by style as much as content, each with their own history of excellence. One is neither better or worse than the other - but both should be allowed to stand separately.

H

I'm not here to start an argument with you, but to the extent of my knowledge, which is considerably limited, poetry has always existed in many diverse forms that could almost be classified as prose applied to a certain rhythm and meter. Although poetry does possess a certain symbolic and figurative quality, I consider this difference rather vaguely defined and ultimately more arbitrary than what people claim. However, I respect your position on the matter and will defer to your relative expertise. I am still learning the basics of the subject.

This might be better as an essay, but I still think it conveys a powerful message in a poetic way - enough to merit being a stand alone poem.