Passing Time

[author1500less]

After his birth, he was cared for until old enough to care for himself. The times surrounding his upbringing challenged his emotions, his interests and his safety. Challenges were overcome and all that was left was to see the challenges in others.

Would he make the decision to interfere in the lives of others? Would he hope for the others to overcome the challenges as he did? What would it lead to, nothing has been gained by overcoming the challenges?

The decision he chose was to not interfere. If he hadn't struggled alone, then he wouldn't have struggled at all. When there is no struggle then there is nothing, no effort needed, no desire to keep trying just the knowledge that it is over.

As others came to rise each was burdened with the knowledge that the challenges have ended. And each would fall with the knowledge that nothing should change.

[hillwalker]

I'm not sure what this is supposed to be - is it an outline for a character study? It doesn't actually go anywhere or even say anything.

As it stands it's extremely flimsy - the only impression it made on me was how over-loaded it was with pointless repetitions :

'care' - 'challenge' - 'overcome'- 'others' - 'struggles' - 'knowledge'

To have the same words reappearing over and over again in such a short piece is quite disastrous.

H

[Drachenseele3]

I'm not a person who does well grammatically or such so I can't say anything about that. But I really liked it a lot! It was short and simple but elegant. : )

[Buh4Bee]

It could be better if there was more meat to grasp. What challenges? How to interfere in the lives of others? Is this some kind of good decision, weighing good verses bad. As is, it is just too vague. I suppose from there, you'd have something to write from.