To a Teacup

[Squabbles]

To a Teacup

You bear within your rims
True divinity.
No bearded man on clouded throne
Can usurp your flesh-carven temple,
My hands.
My stained slippers still stick
To where your belly,
Billowing and brimful,
Shared its sweets with the linoleum.
Your chaste, delicate visage brings
Offerings of bergamot to my lips,
Peppermint, jasmine, lavender, chai.
Most faithful mistress, gentle master,
Devoted servant, consort,
You have laced my tongue with cherry blossoms,
I will erect ruby cathedrals in your name.
The ocean, diamond-skinned and pearl bearing,
Will relinquish her worshippers,
And Poseidon beg to be your god.

With suggested revisions:

You bear within your rims
True divinity.
No bearded man on clouded throne
Can usurp the flesh-carven temple,
My hands.
My stained slippers still stick
To where your belly,
Billowing and brimful,
Spilled its sweets on the linoleum.
Your delicate visage brings
Offerings of bergamot to my lips;
Peppermint, jasmine, lavender, chai.
(Offerings to my lips: bergamot,
Peppermint jasmine, lavender, chai.)
Most faithful mistress, gentle goddess
You have laced my tongue with cherry blossoms,
I will erect ruby cathedrals in your name.
The ocean, diamond-skinned and pearl bearing,
Will relinquish her worshippers,
And Poseidon beg to be your consort.

The red is just a different way to write the same line. The blue I absolutely agree with, and the rest of the revisions I like, but am not sure I like better than what I originally had, but really see their point. I really like consort, too, but I'm not sure if I like it more than god. And removing chaste, absolutely.

So, I was wondering what anybody else thought. Anymore revisions or if you think it is crap, anything. Thanks very much if you read. :)