Kissing scores of lips

[osho]

Everything first counts much
First glance first love, first impression

I had a few firsts and all turned sour
Now I have only seconds,thirds...

I never got switched on my seconds
I live in the memoir though wraithlike

I feel I am etherized
I kiss the second one she becomes incarnated into the first one
I know this is a betrayal
I cannot play innocent
Since I am living full of remorse.

This memory is morbidity
And the living one with me is infected

I do not know how people go with their several spouses
One after another in an endless morose game
When the lips kissed by the first one has not dried up
They are rushed to have kisses by their second, third and fourth spouses