Transcendence

[Shaz]

You might not know this,

But sometimes I lay beneath the stars at night,
And gaze up at the vast expanse of life before my eyes.
Soaking in an eyeful of the lost worlds,
Exploring the possibilities.
If only I could tell, with just one glance into this great abyss,
Perceiving more than just flames of a lifetime away,
But knowing that beyond the light of the stars, and the shine of the worlds,
Beyond all that there is or may be out in the great expanse of time,
If only I could know if the starlit auburn of your eyes were gazing at that sky at that precise moment,
And perhaps, just for that one brief stint of transcendence, we are together.

[hillwalker]

I enjoyed this very much, although it could be vastly improved by a careful cut here and there - removing phrases that are unnecessary (such as 'before my eyes' in line 3 for example).

I'm also assuming that you meant 'lie' in line 2 (as in 'lie down'), not 'lay' (as in 'lay an egg').

H

[Shaz]

Here I stand, on the precipice of a new world,
Scared and alone, I fear the worst.
With descending clouds of ever ending eclipse,
I feel the past close in on me.
Constricting, withdrawing the breath from my lungs,
Like air from space, I feel the emptiness begin…

A glimpse of color; a glimmer of hope,
Shimmering luminosity pulls me back from a place of futility.
A smile radiates from the clouds,
The past is expelled, drowning the blackness within a stroke of blue and grey
No longer alone, I fear no evil,
Dark and bleak as the world may seem, the view of this broken Atlantis has never seemed more beautiful.