Echoes Prologue

[Jordan.Weaver]

I used to know what the rain sounded like. I used to feel the sun shining on my face. But I’ve been in here for such a long time; I don’t remember anything about outside. I know the grass is green, but I don’t know what green is anymore. The floor is so cold. I’m shivering. No windows. Are there others like me? No sound. Just me. I’m dirty. My hair is so long, it trails along the floor when I crawl. So dark. I can’t see anything. Where is everyone? Am I the only one left? Has there ever been anyone else? Shana. Who’s there? Shana. Who are you? Please, get me out! Shana, where are you? Who are you? I’m panicking now. I’m not Shana.

Shana. Come here, Shana. Come here…

[Delta40]

i'm assuming the italics mean dialogue but could just as easily be internal thoughts so it is important that the reader is in no doubt what it means. You should use inverted commas "" which will help. As it is, the prologue is vague and has possibilities. You know the grass is green might be better effected by distantly recalling the lushness of grass (since we all know grass is green)

keep posting.