Haikus

[breathtest]

Some loose Haikus that I've made over the last month.

Lines of rain
on the
window-pane

In meditation
don't think in words
but in feeling

Pleasant afternoon reading
and the dog
at the foot of the bed

Sadness of the cold night
standing and
looking into the trees

The hum of morningness
stepping out
into the garden

The trees behind
the rain
look sad

Three spiders huddled
in the corner
of the white bathroom

Layers of trees
surrounding the lake -
Hello birds!

[tailor STATELY]

Enjoyed.

Two caught my eye:
In meditation
don't think in words
but in feeling

and


The hum of morningness
stepping out
into the garden

Thank you for sharing.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Delta40]

nice imagery

especially liked sadness of the cold night.

[breathtest]

Thanks for reading them. I found writing them surprisingly therapeutic

[Silas Thorne]

Three spiders huddled
in the corner
of the white bathroom



Hey there breathtest! Wow, groovy stuff, though I'm not sure if they are all really haikus, this poem really spoke to me more than the others. I think that the spiders could huddle to keep warm and living against the white coldness of the bathroom around them, or out of fear that they are swept away by humans due to their difference with the clean surroundings, or because they feel that they shouldn't move into the whiteness and might sully it. All of this for me due to that wonderful word 'huddled'. :)

[breathtest]

Silas Thorne, nice to see you around!

Yes I realise that they are not exactly uniform haikus but I use the term loosely. I feel that rules would restrict the meaning of the pieces as you might have to look for a word that isn't exactly right but that fits the syllable count. I prefer to go with accuracy of expression. I'm glad you got so much from the spider one though. I do feel that small pieces of observation can express so much. Words are not that important, in the sense that less is more.

[hillwalker]

Some of these aren't too bad - but why on earth would you want to call them haikus??

H

[Bar22do]

Some very good writing here, breath, though, like hill says, not so much haikus. Still, each one a special image, or moment. Best to you

[breathtest]

I call them Haikus based on Jack Kerouac's definition of a Haiku. Thanks for reading and commenting!