Death Where Is Thou Sting

[ShadowsCool]

xdelete

[cl154576]

I think it's supposed to be 'thy' instead of 'thou,' but what purpose does the outdated word serve?
Also, the rhyme is inconsistent ... it bothers me a little.

[ShadowsCool]

I think you may be right. I'll shall check that.
Why outdated? I thought it fit.
As for the rhyme scheme? That's my style.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts

Shadows

[Twota]

I agree with cl15 about 'thy' but other than that, I like the poem. :D

[ShadowsCool]

Twoto: I made the change. Thanks for liking it

Shadows

[Hawkman]

if you're going to use thy then you should use it all the way through, but it's isolated in the first line and if you don't bother to use it again. Why use it at all?

[tailor STATELY]

Enjoyed.

s3 - perhaps you're instead of your

Re s4:

I welcome you in my silent arms
My words will still live on
Life gave me a poets wing
And I intend to sing:
Death you have no sting!

in the antepenultimate line I would suggest you rid yourself of the end-rhyme; perhaps: Life gave me the wings of a poet...
note: poet's not poets in your construction

Then, in the next line use more conviction rather than "I intend" perhaps: And when I soar I'll sing triumphantly... or And when I soar I'll triumphantly sing...

And something similar may help with s1 in ridding the rhyme bug if you desire.

Just some passing thoughts.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Silas Thorne]

Hawkman and cl154576 are right I think about your use of 'thy'. If you want to use it, you should be consistent, unless you want to use it once for a joke.

'Your a hollow ring!' Surely you mean: "You're a hollow ring!"

Why does the poet only have one wing? I feel that you are forcing yourself to fly in circles here.

Keep at the writing, but maybe start at the bottom of the mountain where the people are for a change.

[Silas Thorne]

Oh, sorry Tailor Stately, didn't see your comment until I'd posted mine. :) But I'll leave mine as is.

[ShadowsCool]

It's a bit messy. This poem came to me in a burst of inspiration that danced around my head. As for keep writing. I shall. I've been writing for 30 years. My latest creations I'm taking my time on. Unlike some of these, that I forced out too quickly. I appreciate the points by all. I'm not sure what is meant by join us down here and get off the mountain. It's early here & the coffee has not kicked in yet.

Shadows

[Buh4Bee]

Well, any specifics are certainly valuable, but as general theme, this is where a poet should be at in his thoughts. A very positive poem. If you are flying in circles, at least, you are off the ground and flying.

[hillwalker]

I'm not sure what is meant by join us down here and get off the mountain.Shadows

You tend to write about lofty topics - philosophising about things that have been reworked over the last 200 years or so by countless poets better qualified than yourself to explore and comment on human existence.

Writing about love and death and religious conviction are all very well but most of what you come out with has already been said before. There's nothing original in what you're offering unfortunately.

It would be interesting to read a contemporary piece inspired by the real world you inhabit - and preferably in poetry unencumbered by rhyme that overwhelms so much of your work.

H

[ShadowsCool]

You tend to write about lofty topics - philosophising about things that have been reworked over the last 200 years or so by countless poets better qualified than yourself to explore and comment on human existence.

Writing about love and death and religious conviction are all very well but most of what you come out with has already been said before. There's nothing original in what you're offering unfortunately.

It would be interesting to read a contemporary piece inspired by the real world you inhabit - and preferably in poetry unencumbered by rhyme that overwhelms so much of your work.



Tough crowd.

[hillwalker]

Not tough - just honest. Let's see you come up with something original.

You admit yourself that it's a bit messy. We're all agreed on that. But as for this piece coming out 'in a burst of inspiration'. That's hard to swallow. Really.

H

[Biggus]

"poets better qualified than yourself"

Do you like anything?

[cl154576]

"poets better qualified than yourself"

Do you like anything?

Would you deny that there were better poets? (I could name some, but I don't wish to bicker over personal preferences.)

hillwalker's comment was "not tough - honest" - something commendable when too many flatter for fear of offending.

It is fine to write write about "love and death and religious conviction," but personalize it. Don't just say "I have mocked you in your face." When you leave it at that, it feels like you are mocking me as well. Come down and explain what enabled you to mock.

[Biggus]

Well Hillwalker certainly doesnt fear offending thats for sure.
there is a difference between constructive critism and just being insulting.

[MarkBastable]

Well Hillwalker certainly doesnt fear offending thats for sure.
there is a difference between constructive critism and just being insulting.


Actually, I thought he was pretty fair. And if he needs backing up, I'll second his critique.

[hillwalker]

@Biggus - welcome to the coal-face of LitNet.

I feel it's actually a compliment to have you give feedback on anyone else's poetry on here so I'll consider your personal comments about my bluntness worthwhile.

As for the question - do I like anything?
Yes - I like well-written poetry that attempts to shed new light on life - but likewise I detest lazy, formulaic, pointless rhymes that tell us nothing new and give the appearance of having been thrown together in five minutes.

H

[ShadowsCool]

@Biggus - welcome to the coal-face of LitNet.

I feel it's actually a compliment to have you give feedback on anyone else's poetry on here so I'll consider your personal comments about my bluntness worthwhile.

As for the question - do I like anything?
Yes - I like well-written poetry that attempts to shed new light on life - but likewise I detest lazy, formulaic, pointless rhymes that tell us nothing new and give the appearance of having been thrown together in five minutes.

H

I'm not here for compliments. Nor do I have issues with critical opinion. But I detest personal jabs; being called "lazy", and having been told, my poems offer nothing new.

So now I'm at the point of why bother.

Very easy to sit back and take jabs at the poet. "Others are more qualified", maybe so. Not a very nice opinion in my opinion. I shall not be deterred, however. I know I have talent and therefore I will continue to write.

As for opinions, I don't take them personal until they become personal. Some have crossed that line. The people who don't like my poems can go (fill in the blanks)

So as I say in the poem, I'll take my poet wings and fly away. Cause no one likes to be where they are not appreciated. No skin off my back.

Shadows

[ShadowsCool]

Would you deny that there were better poets? (I could name some, but I don't wish to bicker over personal preferences.)

hillwalker's comment was "not tough - honest" - something commendable when too many flatter for fear of offending.

It is fine to write write about "love and death and religious conviction," but personalize it. Don't just say "I have mocked you in your face." When you leave it at that, it feels like you are mocking me as well. Come down and explain what enabled you to mock.

Why am I being compared to better poets?

To actually form an opinion in which you compare another person in a negative light, and in front of that person to see all this, is nasty. I'm that person you belittle. I take offense.

And no, (H's) comments are not tough, unless they are directed at you!

I need to check out your writing and see how good you are.

[MarkBastable]

It depends why you're writing, I think.

If you are writing in order to express yourself to yourself, and you have no particular desire to communicate with anyone else, then you're pretty much immune to criticism.

If, on the other hand, you write in order to get something out of your head and into other people's heads, then you have made a bargain with the readers - your end is that you'll produce stuff that rewards the reading, and their end is that they'll give thw writing time and attention in the expectation of that reward.

As you've put your poem into the public domain, you must be writing for the second reason - which means you've entered into a bargain with us, your readers.

In this forum, unusually, readers get the chance to tell the writer why they did or didn't get something out of what's offered. So all hillwalker is saying is that you don't seem to be keeping your side of the bargain - because his expenditure of time and attention was not rewarded by what he got out of the writing. And one of his yardsticks for that, quite sensibly, is how much he gets out of what other writers do with the same kind of theme.

You may not like being told it's not very good, but by going public, you pretty much accept the possibility of hearing it. And as someone who has been writing professionally for thirty years, let me tell you that if you can't take the kind of critique that hillwalker offered, you're not going to enjoy the experience of stepping outside this protected and genial place and into the real world of grown-up poetry publishing.

[ShadowsCool]

It depends why you're writing, I think.

If you are writing in order to express yourself to yourself, and you have no particular desire to communicate with anyone else, then you're pretty much immune to criticism.

If, on the other hand, you write in order to get something out of your head and into other people's heads, then you have made a bargain with the readers - your end is that you'll produce stuff that rewards the reading, and their end is that they'll give thw writing time and attention in the expectation of that reward.


There are those are on here who are just bent on personal attacks on character. So I disagree with your assessment that I'm not holding up my end of the bargain. I post because I like to write, not to get my head bashed in. If hill or someone else don't like it they can take a walk. I prefer certain critics (you included) to not comment on my stuff.

But I do get your point, why bother exposing my 'poor poetry' in your opinion, for all the world to see? I take offense being compared in a negative way to other poets on here or elsewhere. That's a personal attack and I don't care what you call it.

I'm tired of the critics who stray from the poem. They don't like it, let em move on. But worry not, cause I'm already moving on. I shall post no more. Just to answer my critics on this thread.

I'm done with my end of the so called 'bargain' as you call it. I didn't bargain for this.

Shadows

[IceM]

I'm not here for compliments. Nor do I have issues with critical opinion. But I detest personal jabs; being called "lazy", and having been told, my poems offer nothing new.

So now I'm at the point of why bother.

Very easy to sit back and take jabs at the poet. "Others are more qualified", maybe so. Not a very nice opinion in my opinion. I shall not be deterred, however. I know I have talent and therefore I will continue to write.

As for opinions, I don't take them personal until they become personal. Some have crossed that line. The people who don't like my poems can go (fill in the blanks)

So as I say in the poem, I'll take my poet wings and fly away. Cause no one likes to be where they are not appreciated. No skin off my back.

Shadows

Upon telling another LitNet user that I wanted to be a real, published poet in some form, AuntShecky sent me a link to a Walt McDonald article, where he expounded upon what to him was coherent poetry. His fundamental advice was to not settle upon what comes to the mind in the first draft--to keep writing and re-writing until the poetry is the absolute the writer can produce in that one subject. Now, I'm confident all of us post poems that aren't our final drafts. Most of my poetry is always a 2nd draft. I post in the acceptance that other readers, to their degree, will either approve or reject my aesthetic, typically offering why (for most of us, that being grammar or occasional tightening of an image or stanza). But all of us who post here publicly can make one concession--opinions other than our own will be met when reading one's writing.

I've mentioned this on a select number of other poems you've written before: they feel like first drafts. In this case especially, your poem feels like prose divided into lines. I find little poetic quality in it. Of course, as a speculative discourse on the nature of death (if it manifested itself in prose) it could be better. But the writing has so little to feel that it, like Death, is impersonal. Given, I'm a writer who overflows with imagery, only so that, upon submitting here and when revising for a third draft, I may axe whatever is the most unnecessary. Here, your poetry is barebones; it is a comment on death with nothing to imagine; or, the imagery is so vague, I have hardly more than nothing to imagine. "Luscious wines" is a good example. What am I to imagine when a wine is luscious--that it erupts with flavor in my mouth? Odd way to lead up to Death.

And another qualm with the poem itself--perhaps the "sting" of "Death" would not be felt because Death itself would erase feeling. It made me think your poem was a paper tiger roaring at a sleeping German Shepherd.


Why am I being compared to better poets?

To actually form an opinion in which you compare another person in a negative light, and in front of that person to see all this, is nasty. I'm that person you belittle. I take offense.

And no, (H's) comments are not tough, unless they are directed at you!

I need to check out your writing and see how good you are.

Would you rather be compared to worse poets?

When others suggest they compare you to better poets, it doesn't necessarily mean Shakespeare, Byron, Eliot, Whitman, and other great poems are the standard by which they compare you to; rather, the experience given by poets who have produced a consistently high quality of poetry (making them, in fact, better) are what your poem faces. It sounds similar and, yet, totally isn't. Your poem is an experience; the reader can only evaluate your experience versus other experiences on the same topic. Were one to hold your poetry to Shakespeare's candle, your writing would burn, as would the writing of millions of others; yet, were your writing held to the candle of "Death" poetry, it might fare better. The latter is what we're attempting.


There are those are on here who are just bent on personal attacks on character. So I disagree with your assessment that I'm not holding up my end of the bargain. I post because I like to write, not to get my head bashed in. If hill or someone else don't like it they can take a walk. I prefer certain critics (you included) to not comment on my stuff.

But I do get your point, why bother exposing my 'poor poetry' in your opinion, for all the world to see? I take offense being compared in a negative way to other poets on here or elsewhere. That's a personal attack and I don't care what you call it.

I'm tired of the critics who stray from the poem. They don't like it, let em move on. But worry not, cause I'm already moving on. I shall post no more. Just to answer my critics on this thread.

I'm done with my end of the so called 'bargain' as you call it. I didn't bargain for this.

Shadows

T.S. Eliot once remarked that a poet, regardless of style, must develop a niche within his peers. You will always be implicitly judged by the quality of experiences given on one topic versus the quality of others given on that same topic; you just don't like what you're hearing.

And about the "poor poetry" comment; nobody is exposing your poor poetry. You posting it publicly makes us an audience. I wouldn't consider your poetry poor in general, you just have some poor poems. This one could use revision.

[ShadowsCool]

T.S. Eliot once remarked that a poet, regardless of style, must develop a niche within his peers. You will always be implicitly judged by the quality of experiences given on one topic versus the quality of others given on that same topic; you just don't like what you're hearing.

And about the "poor poetry" comment; nobody is exposing your poor poetry. You posting it publicly makes us an audience. I wouldn't consider your poetry poor in general, you just have some poor poems. This one could use revision.

I would rather have my sanity and be respected.

But you make some constructive points. I am finding that writing is just not worth it. It takes up your time and the pay is lousy. In this case, there is no pay. So why bother?

Funny thing is I have posted some decent poems and they are just passed over. Could this one be better? Yes. But why bother? What's in it for me?

Even some of the great poets were completely over looked in their time. And I'm not comparing myself, I'm just stating fact. Did Emily Dickinson get anything out of her poetry? No. The world judged her writing many years later.

So what's the point of this writing experience? To say I wrote something that pleased the readers? The money is not there. Rappers make a ton of money and look what they produce. I would argue, nothing of merit.

I no longer enjoy the experience so why bother climbing the mountain. Too many people want to see you fail. They are ready to pounce and I'm pretty damn tired of it. You may not agree with that but I know it's true. I know what I see.

I'm getting out of this racket. I'd rather watch birds in my backyard.

[hillwalker]

I no longer enjoy the experience so why bother climbing the mountain. Too many people want to see you fail. They are ready to pounce and I'm pretty damn tired of it. You may not agree with that but I know it's true. I know what I see.

This entire thread seems to prove to me that you don't take your writing seriously - just yourself.

If you really loved writing you would work harder to improve - with the help of readers who have the patience to lead you in the right direction rather than humour you.

Unfortunately you seem to expect recognition for your creativity merely by posting any old thing. The more poems you post the more grateful we should be - quantity rather than quality. You have admitted in various other threads that some of the poems you have chosen to share with us are from several years ago when your talents were less developed. Is it any wonder you receive unflattering responses?

As for comparing your plight with Emily Dickinson's - well, yes. It is a shame that certain writers' skills are not always appreciated during their lifetime.
I hope you get more joy from the company of real life buzzards.

H

[MarkBastable]

. I am finding that writing is just not worth it. It takes up your time and the pay is lousy. In this case, there is no pay. So why bother? ... What's in it for me? ...I'm getting out of this racket.

Very sensible, and completely understandable. Many writers - talented and otherwise - come to that conclusion.


Even some of the great poets were completely over looked in their time. And I'm not comparing myself, I'm just stating fact. Did Emily Dickinson get anything out of her poetry? No. The world judged her writing many years later.

Well, yeah - but the world judged her work later only because she went on producing it when she was ignored. Even if she asked herself the question you have asked yourself, she knew what was in it for her.

Also, for every overlooked genius like Dickinson and Van Gogh, there are millions of overlooked no-hopers who cite them as justifications for not being appreciated. It doesn't matter which hillwalker thinks you are - which do you think you are?

[Delta40]

Shadow I write first and foremost for myself and once I've done that, I consider the audience and make changes. I agree that alot of poetry reads better without rhyme. For me, rhyming on a serious topic brings it down to infant level and limits the writer's ability to flow. Which brings me to another point. You can't please all the people all the time and feeling happy with your work is certainly not contingent on Hillwalker.

While Hillwalker offers valuable critique, his challenge on lit-net is less about posting great pieces of his own work but rather to see how blunt and rude he can be before his comments are no longer a critique. That in itself is a remarkable talent! but keep in mind this - He isn't the only member on Lit-Net and I haven't stopped writing because my work fails to press his buttons.

I encourage you to keep writing. If it is something inside of you, then don't stop. We all start somewhere and get better with practice.

[ShadowsCool]

I encourage you to keep writing. If it is something inside of you, then don't stop. We all start somewhere and get better with practice.

Appreciate your support Delta. Of course, everything you say is true because you are a reasonable person. Unlike some on here. It just takes a few to spoil it for all. Some act like they are doing you a favor by reading your poem. I assure them, they are not. They say I don't take writing seriously, well I do. I've been writing most my life, while these so called experts were cradled in mommy's arms.

I will continue to write Delta but it won't be on here. I just got a bad taste in my mouth and I gotta spit it out. I just hope this thread can die down now. I'm tired of the 'experts' who believe in their own genius. Their opinions they can keep to themselves.

Shadows

[Delta40]

I'm sorry to hear that Shadows but you are most welcome on Lit-Net anytime. Good luck with your writing!

[Jack of Hearts]

Well let's make it 30 even.

Now, the dust settled, the title of this thread has acquired decidedly ironic connotations.








J

[Biggus]

Hey Shadows dont let the literary snobs bully you, be yourself.
Poetry is a broad church and there is room for everyone.
dont let them force you into their narrow view.

[IceM]

Appreciate your support Delta. Of course, everything you say is true because you are a reasonable person. Unlike some on here. It just takes a few to spoil it for all. Some act like they are doing you a favor by reading your poem. I assure them, they are not. They say I don't take writing seriously, well I do. I've been writing most my life, while these so called experts were cradled in mommy's arms.

I will continue to write Delta but it won't be on here. I just got a bad taste in my mouth and I gotta spit it out. I just hope this thread can die down now. I'm tired of the 'experts' who believe in their own genius. Their opinions they can keep to themselves.

Shadows

Alright, enough is enough Shadows. You condemn Hillwalker for his perceived brutishness in comments, and now your parting blows are ad-hominems to the "experts [that] were cradled in mommy's arms."

Have some class. Nobody is entitled to read a poem that you, or any poster on this board, publishes on this forum. Tens of poems are posted daily--why read yours? Why read mine? Why read anyone's work? That someone has decided to commit but a small portion of their day to one's work is something to be grateful for. Your poems have received a consistent amount of reviews by EA, Hillwalker, Twota and others, and now you act as though you're entitled to reviews, especially when your reviews given in exchange are paltry and thin. That many people still read your poems is, quite honestly, a shock to me, for I rarely see you read another's poems. You should be grateful you get any reviews at all.

If the occasional hostile comment deters you from revisiting this forum, and you in turn leave to seek greener pastures, and friendlier audiences, elsewhere, I do wonder whether you were more interested in compliments or constructive criticism. And yes, Hillwalker's comments were constructive. You need to revisit how you address topics written about by millions of other poets. Every poet writes about death--how you create a lasting memory compared to the work of other poets is essentially Hill's message.

I ultimately respect one's right to join and/or leave the poetry section of our forum as a user sees fit; however, I, as perhaps other users, would expect said person to leave with class, not with immature remarks about another person over dispute of an average poem.

[MarkBastable]

Alright, enough is enough Shadows. You condemn Hillwalker for his perceived brutishness in comments, and now your parting blows are ad-hominems to the "experts [that] were cradled in mommy's arms."


Yeah - that "mommy's arms" thing confused me too.

Firstly, what's the relative age of writer and commenter got to do with it?

And secondly, if his argument is that the older you are the more you know about writing poetry, then presumably if anyone commenting on the poem is older than he is, then he'll take that criticism seriously.

So we need to know how old shadowscool is.

[tailor STATELY]

The death
of a poet...
Death, where
is thy sting ?

[hillwalker]

Since my name has featured throughout this thread I thought I'd clarify the situation.

I have obviously upset 2 LitNet members with my honest critiques of their work in the last few days – ShadowsCool and Biggus.

If either had actually taken the trouble to read my comments properly they would see there is no attack on them personally or indeed on their other work in general - merely on 2 specific poems (as well as other mediocre poems one comes across on here from time to time).

I’m not the only member who criticised Biggus's latest piece on the grounds of inappropriate style and weak rhyme – even Delta shared my opinion in this instance - but I'm the one who seems to be bearing the brunt of his anger. Even though I tried to defend his poem by agreeing there was no mockery intended he took my comments about William McGonagall’s doggerel as more criticism aimed at him personally.

In a similar vein ShadowsCool asked for clarification on what Silas Thorne's comment was supposed to mean – about coming down from his mountain - and I offered an explantion about the topics he chooses to write about which he took personally.

Biggus chose to add a comment or two – asking whether I actually like anything and suggesting that I’m always ready to offend people by being insulting rather than constructively critical.
To the best of my knowledge this is the first time in 16 months I have ever seen Biggus comment on any threads other than his own. Presumably he was still smarting.
When I replied, explaining that there are things I do like and things I don't like, ShadowsCool reappeared and took my answer to be a criticism of his poetry in particular rather than mediocre poetry in general.

Do these people actually bother to read the feedback we give them all the way through?

To cap it all, Delta threw in yet another veiled attack on me personally. It’s obviously open season for Hillwalker on this site at the moment.

For those of you after my skin, happy hunting - fortunately it's even thicker than you could imagine. For those who have stood up and supported my position, many thanks.

H

[Biggus]

Very well done for driving away a poet from Litnet.
Why can you not have your comments vetted before posting them?
Or better still don’t comment at all.
And please don’t try to justify your behaviour, you can't defend the indefensible.

“Do these people actually bother to read the feedback we give them all the way through?”

I do apologize Hillwalker,
It’s just that when you told me that my poem was reminiscent of McGonagall and then you proceeded to tell me how **** McGonnagal was.
Well clearly I jumped to the wrong conclusion, how foolish of me.
Still what do you expect from one of “these people”

BTW – I’m not planning on disappearing anytime soon.

[Jack of Hearts]

Well it's not the first time we've encountered this problem with one of Shadow's poems:

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=63634

It's tough not to offend a person when your words, by little twists, are being turned into personal insults.

What is hillwalker saying in the quote below?


As for the question - do I like anything?
Yes - I like well-written poetry that attempts to shed new light on life - but likewise I detest lazy, formulaic, pointless rhymes that tell us nothing new and give the appearance of having been thrown together in five minutes.

On an obvious level, he's saying he doesn't like certain things. On the implicit level he's saying these things are in the original poem and he doesn't like it because of them. In any reading of it, no comment has been made about any person.



I'm not here for compliments. Nor do I have issues with critical opinion. But I detest personal jabs; being called "lazy", and having been told, my poems offer nothing new.

The poetry was called lazy, or lazily made, not the poet. And as for the poems not offering anything new, that's an observation (not an insult) of the piece (not the writer).

It all gives way to interesting discussion. That we've already had.


We already agree about something. We agree that it’s not very good to talk about the author of the work. Because it’s not important. Because sometimes it’s rude. So it’s good to talk only about the work itself. That seems to be what we agree on. But we’re about to get into a little trouble here...

Do you think it would be good if people could talk about whatever part of the poem they wanted to?

This is why this reader thinks it’s a good idea to put healthy distance between one’s self and one’s work- that way, people can give whatever feedback they want to about the work. Then the author won’t feel as bad about getting feedback he or she doesn’t like- because he or she doesn’t see the work, or any part of it (such as the narrator), as themselves.


This separation of art and artist, in this reader's opinion, has clearly failed to happen.

It's difficult because so much of the feedback on these poems has been fuelled by kindness or sense of community. Even hillwalker's comment, which was perceived as mean, was a kindness- it says that while, in his opinion, the poem is lacking, he still believes that the person who posted it has the capacity to learn and grow as an artist, is deserving of being a part of the community we share here. That kindness has not been met with kindness.

The quality of the work does not define the quality of the person. Two separate values. Our egos are sometimes allergic to this conclusion.








J

[Delta40]

To cap it all, Delta threw in yet another veiled attack on me personally. It’s obviously open season for Hillwalker on this site at the moment.

For those of you after my skin, happy hunting - fortunately it's even thicker than you could imagine.H

Well we know that otherwise we wouldn't pick on you....:coolgleamA:

[MarkBastable]

Very well done for driving away a poet from Litnet.
Why can you not have your comments vetted before posting them?
Or better still don’t comment at all.


Actually - at the risk of bringing down more opprobrium - I don't think that a poet was driven away from Litnet.

Just as a matter of interest, is there any way of delivering critical comment that you would feel was acceptable?

[ShadowsCool]

Guys, can we let this post die? At the risk of bumping it myself. I feel everyone has stated their opinion on the matter. I will still be around, reading and commenting on other poems on here; encouraging them too. If my poems seem like first drafts, accept my apologies. Am I sucker for comments and opinions on my work? No way. Obviously I have a difference of opinion of the tact used by some on here. It don't mean I hate them. I'm always up for a good critic but not an insulting critic. Anyhow, water under the bridge. Now I'm going to go smoke a cigar because it's my birthday today.

Shadows

[Delta40]

Happy birthday!

[Silas Thorne]

Just a short note due to time constraints, sorry for not stepping in earlier. I absolutely support hillwalker and other writer/readers of poetry here that choose to spend time commenting on other people's poems with such depth and consideration.
And thank you hillwalker for further explaining, in such a supportive way, what I was trying to get through to the original poster. I think I would not have been able to be so constructive to ShadowsCool had I responded, as I was restraining my original reaction to this poem very tightly.
To the original poster: get over it, come back here and consider the comments a bit and see if they might have some merit. Whether you choose to come back here or not to post poetry doesn't really matter overall for your growth as a writer, but being able to consider honest criticism by people that are active readers and writers does.

[Silas Thorne]

Oh didn't see that post, was writing my one, ShadowsCool. Happy Birthday!

[Bar22do]

Happy Cigar, indeed! Hope to read something new by you soon since you deleted this one and I'm left with only the interesting comments and exchanges (some of which stormy indeed, but all useful, hopefully!) - mazal tov!

[MarkBastable]

Happy Birthday! How old are you?

[Jack of Hearts]

Mark, you keep asking that and this thread is starting to read like a web-transcript from To Catch a Predator.






J

[MarkBastable]

Come on - it's his birthday. It was an irresistible opportunity to ask the question. If I were plotting a novel, I'd've rejected that coincidence as too neat to be credible.