Aerial Warriors - MAJOR EDWARD CORRINGHAM "MICK" MANNOCK VC, DSO & TWO BARS, MC & BAR

[Biggus]

ROYAL FLYING CORPS - WINGS OVER FRANCE # 2

With the RFC he flew
Over where the ill wind blew
Defending the skies from the Hun
Flying where battle was done
One of Britain’s flying aces
Shooting them down in braces
Flying in the sky so free
His tally numbered 73

MAJOR EDWARD CORRINGHAM "MICK" MANNOCK VC, DSO & TWO BARS, MC & BAR
(MAY 24, 1887 – JULY 26, 1918)

Valiantly he fought
Against Zeppelins
And the Red Baron alike
A young man,
In the prime of life
Died an ironic death
When helping a new arrival
Achieve his first kill
He broke his own golden rule
And followed the stricken foe
To see it crash
And was shot down
By ground fire

[hillwalker]

Argh!!!!!

One would normally be reluctant to criticise poetry commemorating those who fell in battle, but I do wonder how many of these are currently turning in their graves.

H

[Biggus]

I dont know how to respond to that

[Hawkman]

The trouble is, Biggus, you are writing about heroes and their deeds, but you are doing so with what amounts to nursery-rhyme couplets and simplistic short lines. The over-all effect comes over as mocking or trite. A grand subject really needs a grand style. Form should fit content.

Live and be well - H

[Delta40]

In your defence Biggus, (I see there are no breasts in these poems!) you're tackling more serious content which I certainly encourage. I do agree that the form doesn't entirely match the homage the poems so well deserve.

[Biggus]

Well each to their own.
They have been better received elsewhere.
but ho hum.
I do however object to Hawkmans reference to them being mocking.
Whatever else they might be, they are never mocking.

[hillwalker]

They are obviously written to respect the dead - I think we can all see that - but it's a little like the doggerel verses of William McGonagall


The Tay Bridge Disaster :

Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv'ry Tay!
Alas! I am very sorry to say
That ninety lives have been taken away
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember'd for a very long time.

The sentiment is genuine but the poetry itself is dreadful; almost laughably bad. The forced rhyme and banal details deflect the reader's attention from the tragedy itself to the awfulness of the writing.

H

[Biggus]

"the poetry itself is dreadful"
"laughably bad"
"awfulness of the writing"
You are too kind Hillwalker really just say what you think.

BTW I like McGonagall

[hillwalker]

I was actually commenting on the quality of McGonagall's poetry.

:smilielol5:

H